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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Living with partners parents

4 replies

mkrsit · 21/09/2018 23:49

Hi, I need to vent!
So me and my OH live with his parents because they need help financially and they are not very well.
Before this I was living in a shared house and spent a lot of time in my room alone and before that I lived with my ex just the two or us. We are all ill at the moment with the flu and I mentioned a couple of times in the past week that we should have a good clean when we are all better to stop us from being ill and his mum got offended and really upset because she thought I was saying the house is scruffy when all I meant is germs pass from door handles and light switches ect. I'm also a little quilty of being anti social I like to eat upstairs just me and my fella or myself if he wants to eat with his family (his mum doesn't usually with us anyway because she's fussy about what she likes so she pops for a sneaky cig) but they watch game shows and eat and I don't really enjoy that although I do make the effort sometimes. I had a little cry to my fella about it earlier that I just feel like I have to consider everyone else's feelings all the times (I know that sounds pretty selfish) I love them like my own family but he's known them his whole life and nothings gonna make him feel awkward it's just so different when you live with someone else's family. My own family I moved out at 16 and before then always ate in my room ect we was never like him and his family. He says he feels like the pressure is on him because I obviously don't want to live there anymore. Am I being out of order?

OP posts:
mkrsit · 21/09/2018 23:53

Just to add we was talking about moving out next year anyway as we are gonna start trying for a baby soon and if we would still help them out financially and live close by. I'm 24 and he's 29 x

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 22/09/2018 03:39

^also a little quilty"

yeah! me too! i fucking love an eiderdown

LollyPopsApple · 22/09/2018 10:17

YANBU. You chose your partner to be with, not his family. Living with family as a grown up is a recipe for disaster, add to that the fact it’s not your own family and the disaster multiplies.

Make plans to move out ASAP. With respect, his parents financial problems aren’t yours to resolve. And do not try for a baby until you’re safely in your own home whatever you do.

fieryginger · 22/09/2018 10:28

It is so hard living with with another family. There are going to be areas of tension. You should be "allowed" to eat in your room, without being judged for it.

Yanbu. Good luck op. I suggest moving out ASAP.

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