Getting over partners previous sexual history

[Honeysuckles2014]

I’ll try and keep this short.

Need advice really.
My partner of 6 years and me broke up for two months.. in that time he slept with two people.

I think what bothers me is I have a face to the name of one and she’s skinnier, younger etc.
They met and chatted for a while before he took her back to his which I feel is now tarnished as it’s only been me prior.

I do suffer massively with self confidence and how I look and feel about myself which doesn’t help.
He says it meant nothing but he did pursue her but she was ‘flakey’ so nothing came off it.
I should never have gotten details but it is a negative to me where I dig for details and end up hurt.

If he initiates anything I think of her and just can’t.

I don’t know what to do, it’s been 5 months and I’m still not coping. Any advice ? :(

I'm not surprised you feel so low, I think he's treated you very poorly. I couldn't get past that either.

So he engineered a split so he could shag other people with a ‘clear conscience’, then once he did, he wanted to resume your relationship. Can you get past this? I do not know but your issues aside, that’s pretty shitty behaviour by him and it’s understandable that you’re questioning his integrity.

The real issue here is that he felt like he had a hall pass (sorry horrible American term) from having a family. Like PPs have said he does not get to check out because he feels suffocated- you certainly don’t!
And he predicted you would sleep with every man under the sun? That shows a lot of what he thinks of you. I think you need to move on and see not every man expects to be treated like a god by his partner.

When you've got a child I don't think it's right you sod off for 2 months to experience other women and then come back

It's also awful that the two of you had only ever been with each other and now he's been with 2 more in the space of 2 months

I have to say that I’m not feeling like this guy’s biggest fan from what I’ve heard so far OP.

He accuses you of shagging around; you go on a break; he shags around; he wants back into the relationship. Do you live together ? You talk about ‘his’ house but you have a child so ... ??

And if you do live together then did he move out while he was on this ‘break’ ? Or was he still getting dinner on the table every night ?

Have you slept together since you got back together?

I agree with others - it sounds like he just wanted an excuse to go and have some fun. I fear this doesn't look good for the future. What happens when he feels "trapped" next time. Will he be off onto dating sites again before you've shut the door behind him?

Sounds like you have the capacity to love long term and deserve better than this.

So he makes a decision to have a break from family life, then accuses you of wanting to shag everything, sleeps with other women, chases one of them who isn't interested in anything further, then he comes back to you?
No wonder you feel horrible

I agree with abitoffun.
He wanted to shag other women and be free of the drudgery of family life.
Now he's tried it and misses the creature comforts so has come back.
You have a child together, you don't get to live the life of a singleton when you have a partner and child.
He isn't unusual, lots of people would like to live a single life whilst having the benefits of a family and partner.
You have to decide if you can tolerate this because you now know that at any future sign of discontent your dp will be off shagging other women whilst he is on " a break".