Breaking up- where do i go from here?

[liliboard]

Hello, this is a very difficult message.

I've been with my partner for 10 years. We have a mortgage and 2 gorgeous children together.

I've recently decided that i no longer feel happy in our relationship. This hasn't happened over night, it's been a long time coming and i want to break away.

He isn't a bad guy. He's a kind, decent, supportive man and he hasn't done anything wrong. The romance just isnt there and arguments happen very often.

Before i have 'that chat' I want to know what on Earth I do after?! Where do I live? Do I stay in the family home with the chidren? I can't afford to live on my own!

I work part time in the day and also have my own business which I work in the evenings from home.

We're not married but have been in our joint mortgage for 5 years.

I just want to know where to go from that conversation.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

I would love some help
Thank you

Well you will need to get legal advice re splits up of jointly owned assets. As you are not married I expect that is just the equity in your home to consider. But you will know the details. Probably best to assume your split is 50/50, unless you have agreed something else. You really need proper advice on this but not being married limits the scope of your separation settlement substantially.

Then you need to think about co parenting arrangements. What you both want, again assume 50/50 as a start. Then consider the practicalities of work, childcare and school. The priority is what is best for the children. What you then agree will determine how much maintenance you will get from him.

You should look into whether you could bet any benefits on top of the maintenance

That may all seem a bit grim and at the very least disruptive to career and home ownership plans. But it just means things are different and you may have to change or delay your aspirations. Get some advice when you have more information about how much capital, maintenance and benefits you will be entitled to. It might be that you need to live off capital for a while until you can boost your income but there are other solutions.

Good luck.