How do you go slowly without having to tell *everything*?

[BugsyMaloney]

I have been single my whole adult life. I'm now 28 and in a much better place, but struggling with my lack of adult relationship experience and some intimacy issues.

I had a date and the man was very nice, but at the end of the night he tried to kiss me and I didn't expect it and it was horribly awkward. I am worried that if I tell anyone that I have no experience, they will run for the hills, but I also feel like people will understand me more if I tell them.

Welcome to dating! it's wonderfully exciting, joyful, funny, horrifically cringeworthy, uncomfortable and everything else, for everybody

There will be weirdos. There will be saddos, guys who come on too strong, guys who would never make the first move ever and there will be good genuine uncomplicated guys too and that's all okay.

If I were you, I'd treat it as something fun, you get to do fun things with new people who are interesting and you get to join the dating thread on here too! I wouldn't get hung up on when to tell people about your inexperience, but maybe lay out expectations that you'll be taking things slowly.

Enjoy!

You don't have to "justify" wanting physical intimacy to go at a pace you're happy with, OP. And any guy who gets pisssy with you over it is not the guy you want.

It can be helpful to have some scripts ready so you have them if you need them - so you can state your boundaries clearly.

"I'd prefer to get to know you a bit better before anything gets physical"

"I'm really enjoying spending time with you, and I'd like to go on a few more dates before we decide if we're getting physical"

"I'm not comfortable with this level of intimacy" (for if he tries to escalate things)

You don't have to explain yourself or give a time line of "how many dates it will take" or bargain with him about how far you're prepared to go.