Any advice please??

[judd0600]

I have been married nearly 20 years with 2 adult children, 1 of whom has a different Dad who has never been around. My DH has always been controlling a sort of bad lad which I knew when we married. It's little things that are irritating me e.g he tries to control what our DS does at college ( he wanted to change his course). Telling him that what he wants to do as a career is a crap choice & he will never get anywhere. I think my DS is too scared to go against my DH. Not scared as in physical but mentally. I bought my DS a money box at Christmas which is in his room but my DH uses it & then cashed in all the change! My kids have never been abroad as my DH as a kid never did he just went to a caravan on the coast & he won't fly. I just feel controlled. I do love my DH & I know he loves me but is this it? My kids are now old enough to holiday alone but I feel I've let them down in some way by not taking them to other countries & standing up to my DH.
Don't get me wrong they haven't had an unhappy childhood and my marriage has been good but my DH is always money money money. We have separate bank accounts he pays the mortgage but has only done this for the past 3 years. I pay everything else on my part time wages. He pays for all the car stuff as we have one each.
I don't know what I'm asking but is my relationship normal? Have I done the right thing staying with him? Have I let my kids down? Any advice would be appreciated.

Your husband stole your son's money. That alone would be enough for me to kick his sorry arse out. Your marriage sounds awful to be honest, and life is too short to put up with a controlling bully.

Not normal. He stole from your son and he controls you. One life ,live it

He has called the shots in your marriage - telling you what you can and cannot do. This is not normal or right. My ex was money orientated and it was one of the things that split us up. You should be equal!

they haven’t had an unhappy childhood

Really?

Your son is scared of your husband. Your husband bullies, belittles and steals from him.

I’d say your son has had a pretty shit childhood actually.

Maybe I didn't explain things right from the replies I have had, my children are NOT scared their dad. They do what they feel is right and if that's the case they don't listen to him. My DH is very loving to them & does give them what they want for example he bought both of them a car when they turned 17 and has put money in a trust fund for them when they turn 21.
He is not a nasty bully he just wants the best for them maybe I feel he is too strict with them but to be honest they have both turned out into respectable young adults not into drugs or alcohol and don't fritter away their cash.
I think I'm just asking what a normal family set up looks like and is mine normal?
Thanks for reading everyone & also those that have replied.

MInimise away OP, he's bullying the child and stealing his money, I'd bet all my money your kids are scared of him, don't really know why you are posting, it's your norm and that's fine but not all of us would put up with this; a loving relationship is not about being controlled or told what to believe, him telling your kid what course to do will inevitably end up making your child miserable.

I think my DS is too scared to go against my DH

My children are NOT scared their dad

Which is it?

You’re minimising, he’s a bully and the reason your kids don’t fritter away their cash is that they are saving like crazy and will be off like a shot the minute they can afford to leave home.