Anger after trashing a thread... advice?

[MrBuscuits]

I posted an account of my woes on a previous thread, which was rudely taking up someone else's space @richdeniro hates my guts now I'm sure. All jokes aside I'm been a bit socially awkward and drive people away. What can I do to be like everyone else and just fit in? I have been rash in decisions (buying cars, trying to impress others etc) but I'm sure I'm missing out on the more important things in life. Any pointers would be appreciated

Don’t try to be like everyone else...just be you. People can tell when someone is trying too hard & that can be what drives them away. People can be weird & some people don’t like competition. There definitely is more. But in debts for new cars & houses you will not find it.

You sound like me. Thought I might have adhd, but diagnosed as borderline personality (mild) at 45. Still think adhd though and use those techniques to help with my impulse control and feelings of difference. Also stopped trying to fit in with 'normal' people and embraced my oddness. Have normal friends, weird friends and completely wacky friends. I spent too much of my life trying to fit my square self into round holes! So found some square holes instead. It's much easier!

You need to be confident in who you are and what you like. What are those things? Confidence and security is both good for your own emotional health and also attractive to other people. Think of it this way. When you meet new people they aren’t your friends. What have you got to lose by being yourself, telling them about what you actually like and doing so in a very straightforward way? They’ll either want to be your friend because they think you’re cool and nice, so you’ve won; or they won’t, in which case you’ve lost precisely nothing.

Once you get to that stage it’ll probably turn out that you probably are like everyone else. You’re probably not weird or kooky or eccentric or odd or inherently “different” to the vast majority of humankind. Most people, even those who say they’re weird but have learned to live with it, aren’t actually weird. You’re just trying too hard to be something you aren’t and to impress, and that can make people feel uncomfortable. I don’t actually like the exact same things or share the same likes and dislikes with a lot of my friends; but we connect on enough other stuff that it doesn’t matter.

Thanks for your kind words... I think @richdeniro was busy getting advice and although my posts were long, he wanted all attention on him so reluctantly I opened this thread as the desperate purchasing of things like cars, flowers to impress etc has gotten too much... Story of my life, I have tried ECT (Electro Shock Therapy), might go on Quetiapine again, but in social scenes I think I struggle as I never fitted in. I think people don't want to know me. I do try things for attention. I ordered gold rims for the X6 as I want to make an effort when I go to the club tonight. I'm sure the girls will like it, I'm trying to be more positive about this too. My mind races and I get very suspicious to the point of anger. I know I got targeted by those traffic wardens and that is how I got those tickets. I want to apply for a blue badge, but want to know if depression is a valid condition for qualifying for one as I get more upset if I have to walk further to the shops. I just dont know why I can't just concentrate on one thing and where the rage comes from.

I know what you mean
OP. I'm really aware of coming across as a bit of a know-all. I think that might be how some people perceived me when I was trying to make mum friends.

I've just started a new course for a qualification I need, but it's well within my comfort zone due to previous work experience that was low status but advantages me with skills that others will fond daunting. I'm really trying to hold back but again I'm conscious of coming across like I know it all. It's really difficult.

Thanks @mynameisnotsteven ... perhaps its high achieving autism... or I am just a high achiever in general? I don't want to come across as a smug git but perhaps I have been throwing pearls before swine and need to run in higher circles? The wheels do look good, and it took my mind off searching for that special someone. Getting involved with styling the car has been a good diversion (couldn't get it wrapped today due to the rain) but it's got me looking at YouTubers and I have ordered a couple of GoPro cameras and will try throwing something together, even if it is just driving around the countryside filming this and that... I don't know. Unlike the drama queen who didn't appreciate my posts (sorry they were long) I think there could be light at the end of the tunnel now. Thinking about it I could understand why some girls could be scared off. As for the job, I think I can get it back and I know the person in it won't last the month. I've got access to certain parts on Citrix and I'll lock out key folders and see how well my replacement gets on... but I'm just in the post room... what do I know about these things?