I am third week into a new job which is near enough full time, having upped my hours from three mornings a week to five near full days. I did this for a change of career, more money/savings/pay debts, and to generally get out of the house more and become more independent.
The trouble is that my husband is struggling to adapt to the fact that I need what he calls 'help' and I call 'teamwork, family life' - I get up an hour before him and go to bed a good hour before him. In the morning, I'll put a wash on first thing and ask him to peg it out before he leaves for work, which is usually a good hour after me. But because he is usually still in bed, he "doesn't have time" to do this, and usually it is still in the machine soaking when I get home.
In the evenings, he sits and watches tv whilst I cook, clean, iron and make lunches, etc. So I'm cramming everything into a few hours and getting zero free time. I'm only on here now because he has gone out, despite the fact he was supposed to be cooking tea!
So I feel like he can just come and go as he pleases, agree to cook tea and then not, just go out at the exact time tea is supposed to be being planned/cooking/ready to eat. Typical family tea time, and he goes out. Usually if he isn't out he is tinkering about in his shed.
He rarely picks up after himself or 'offers' to 'help' with jobs such as the dishwasher etc. He did manage to do some washing last weekend when I was at a long-booked wedding day out, when I put together three piles and specified an order according to importance and drying time, but he did it in the wrong order, and completely ignored the last load that I had said to put in first, which was white school shirts that I had planned to iron sunday morning. So I ended up eventually ironing these at ten to nine on Sunday night. He couldn't see the issue.
He cannot see that if one thing falls off the plan, another few things fall with it and it is then me who has to play catch up. He strolls in from work and then straight out again, ignoring anything remotely domestic. I am accused of shouting, nothing being good enough, dictating, etc etc. When all I am trying to do is offload some of the mental load, which he then cant carry out. So its back onto my shoulders again.
Apart from bash head against a brick wall, what can I do?