Anyone cheated on their dh?

[Shouldershrugger]

Just that really. Has anyone cheated on their dh or contemplated it?

Cheated on first husband. Left 3 weeks after affair started. Om didn't leave his gf who told she was pregnant the day I told him I had left husband.

Fucked up my husband's life. Fucked up my life. Hated myself. Disgusted at myself. Actually fucked up my life for longer than exhusband's who bounced back pretty quickly.

He was a great guy but lousy husband. I should have pulled up my big girl's pant and left without fucking around! If a relationship is bad enough to have an affair to fill in what is missing then it's bad enough to leave!!

I will never have do it again. Too much pain for everyone concerned. It was hell!!

It puts you in an emotionally strange position.

I know we would never be together as a couple, and that neither of us plans to leave our DPs...but i found myself a little jealous of his DW

He went to couple's counselling with her and then had phone sex with me.

But, for now, I cant imagine ending it because he gives me things I lack in my marriage

Thank you lonelydadneedshelp..

KRAmum your post makes me sad - if your relationship is that bad and you can't fix it, to me it's normal you'd think of being with someone else who can give you what you're missing. I was faithful (and lonely) for many years but I'd never live like that again. Long term monogamy works out so badly for some (or perhaps many) of us its hard to see why its so popular still.

Bless you rebelrebel3. Thank you for being understanding.

I just want to say thank you to all who have responded.

I've cheated loads in my lifetime, although not for many years. It leaves a mark.

Yes I have and I fell pregnant thanks to it. Really long story but my H wasn't able to conceive. I had a mini meltdown and ended up sleeping with a work colleague at our Xmas party (cliche I know).

Not a justification but will add it anyway - he had previously cheated on me.

He accepted it and raised my son as his own for nearly 4 years then decided he didn't want to anymore and left 2 months ago.

Don't do it

Never. I'd be leaving first before seeking out another relationship. But I have very firm black and white views on cheating and don't believe there is ever an excuse for it. Those that do it have low morals and no respect for themselves or anyone else. I wouldn't even keep people like that friends.

I don't care what someone's reason is as to why, it's just another lame excuse - cheating isn't necessary or the answer. No one is forced to stay with anyone so move on if you wish to seek a better life and relationship.

Can't believe how judgey people can be on this subject...maybe it's an age thing, you get less judgey as life goes on and you realise how complicated it all is?
TooManyPuppies - that's a really high percentage of the population you have no respect for then! The cheaters outnumber the faithfuls I think, probably in all age groups but certainly in the 35+

that's a really high percentage of the population you have no respect for then

I have no issue with that. I have no time for deceitful people with low morals... Are you one? If not then it's not your problem, or maybe you just have a low moral compass too so cheats don't phase you. People can judge who they want for whatever reason and being a lying cheat who doesn't respect others is something I will never apologise for judging.

Haha! yes i have cheated - and been cheated on too, it's part of life. Chances are you'll experience at least one of these yourself

Yeah I did.

What's the proposition of the article you're writing?

rebelrebel3 Yes I judge people who total fuck over their partners.

Let's be honest. We can throw all the reasoning. 'It was an exit affair' or 'I was looking for affection' or ' I was lonely'. It's simply comes down to, in most cases, someone wants to shag someone else and edging their bets that they can and get away with it and will justify it in anyway possible.

You see it on here quite a bit. Ok having an affair. Throws loads of 'I wasn't in control of myself' and 'I am desperate to make my marriage work'. But they aren't going to tell their dh about the affair to protect their dh and the kids.

They forget that it's the lying that's usually worse when people have affairs. You can't start working on your marriage when you are continually lying.

When men say 'I am lonely so had an affair' it labelled as the using the script. I find it's more accepted for women to say it as justification and generally accepted as the truth.

We a fuck up ocxassionally. I don't think cheating makes some and evil person. But yes, I do judge the act.

On a boyfriend, yes. Still with him, he knows, we're over it.

I was drunk and lonely (long distance) and the guilt made me feel like I was going insane, I actually saw a doctor and she though I had OCD.

I thought I would be punished by karma, that I'd get cancer or my family would die because of it. I genuinely thought I was evil.

Telling DP was the best thing I could've done, he knew I'd been having MH issues and was happy to start working on them together. I think I'd have torn my life apart if I hadn't told him.

Infidelity takes a certain kind of personality, I think. And by that, I mean an inferior one. I judge you. Some of you on here need to be a bit harder on yourselves. Seriously, work harder.

My dh has been a bit of a crap husband over the years. Even just after we were married and I was pregnant with our first. Claims hes never touched another woman but I've found lots of conversations and pictures of other woman on phones or computers. Found some on his whatsapp from this june or july because he left his phone unlocked.
Up until recently I've been totally faithful and probably a mug but I've also recently been involved in an emotional affair. I also kissed him. I feel absolutely disgusted in myself. Maybe me and dh should go our separate ways there is obviously something missing but im scared of bringing up 3 kids alone. The other man means nothing he was just someone who would listen.

Leave and seek the relationship you are looking for. An affair will end in misery on both sides and you will lose respect for yourself (the biggest reason not to do it)

Nope.
Cheating is a total deal-breaker for me - on either side.
I'm a fiercely loyal person.
However, if I was with someone who made me feel lonely, gave me no affection and no sex. I'd be outta there anyway.
What is the point in being with someone but not really in a relationship?
There is no point and life is way too short to 'settle'
Just end it and then move on with your life.

@KRAmum your post made me sad too. If your marriage is so unhappy, you are allowed to walk away. Life is too short to be lonely and unhappy.

Interesting to read all of the different opinions. Just to clarify, I'm not in any way affiliated with media or journalists. At all. I'm just a wife, mother, daughter and sister, who still feels lonely. I did actually reconnect with the person I should've married all those yrs ago, recetly. We've had flirtations, both banter and sexual.. Not done anything physically or sexually. But I've put an end to it all. I'm not in a position to leave my dh. So, people can go ahead and judge me because at the end of the day, I'm on my own while my dh does his own thing and make a it obvious I'm the last thing on his mind. I have to live with the fact I just nodded away my little bit of happiness away because it was the right thing to do. I know I'll be ok in time, just right now, I feel so fucking shit. Some of you will say I probably deserve it. But I'd like to congratulate you on having a wonderful marital life or relationship. You're very lucky.

@KRAmum you sound really unhappy. I've been there, in a marriage where I felt unloved and uncared for. And trapped (he can be ... difficult). I think if the right person has come along I might have cheated too, to get away from those feelings. I'm not a bad person, and neither are you. You don't have to say, but why can't you leave your not so DH?

For financial reasons. I cut down my hrs at work drastically to less than pt hrs when i got pregnant and we own our home together. There's no way I could support myself or my 3 dc on my own. I want to go to university next yr to carve out a career which will enable me the financial freedom to be able to live how i choose. Just that I have to keep my head down for now.. I know some may see me as weak and pathetic and that's fine.

I stayed longer than I should, Stbx is quite difficult and I was worried he'd turn really nasty. In the end events forced things to a head, but I know how you feel.

Loads of women on here have judging by another thread. And they actually manage to justify it because their husband didn't pay them attention, or he was already cheating, or he wasn't treating them right. If a man came on and said 'is it OK to cheat on my wife because she doesn't pay me attention' they'd be crucified. It's amazing how it's fine for women but not men.

It's not OK though. How would you feel if your husband kissed or had sex with another women? Would you think 'oh yeah that's fine because I havent been shagging him' or would you be hurt?

If you don't like your life, leave him. I left my partner when he raped me after spending a long time mentally and emotionally abusing me. I didn't just go and shag another man who said kind words. But I'm a better person than my ex.

No judgement from me op. I know how shit it can be. My husband does shitty things behind my back and thats just the ones I've found out about.
Just yesterday I got into his phone he doesn't know yet that I know his unlock code and found a naked picture of a woman. He claims he has no idea how it got there. I know how emotional affairs can pull you in. The feeling of actually being wanted, listened too. I've tried to cut ties but find it so hard