I broke up with my partner of 15 years at Easter. We are both 45 and have one DS (aged 10) I have a DD from a previous relationship (aged 23). I’d say the main reason I decided to end the relationship for good, was that he showed no commitment to me at all. He kept his own property, which I discovered through friends he had renovated to a high standard while we were together without letting me know. That was red flag number one. We had a row at Easter, during which he spoke to me in a dreadfully disparaging manner in front of my children. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I then caught him checking my daughter out, not once but twice, in a sexual way. It was blatant, and I thought he had done it deliberately to hurt my feelings and damage my self esteem. I told him to leave and cut off contact with him for three months.
In the meantime I got myself a job - he left me without a penny - and as time went by we have fallen into a pattern of co-parenting whereby he will stay with our DS at my property while i’m at work for the sake of not discomforting our child. This means I am in contact with my ex 3 or 4 days per week depending on my schedule. Since breaking up with him, I have lost a lot of weight and I’m feeling much better about myself. I now receive a fair amount of attention from other men, whereas when I was with him no one looked at me. My problem is this: my ex has noticed the change in me and keeps hanging around when I get home from work. I’d like to confront him and tell him there’s no chance, but I depend on him to co-parent and I’m worried that if I make that clear he will abandon us. At the moment I’m nodding and smiling at him for the sake of peace, but I know that this situation cannot go on forever. I’d appreciate any advice.