Two examples just in this week.
- Colleague/'friend'
Worked with him for approx 1 yr, sat next to him for just the last 6 months. Bit of a needy, 'poor me' attitude as though people are being horrible to him at times (they aren't, he's just over-sensitive). But, I have decent chats with him, work well together on the assigned work where that's required, and sometimes have a good laugh all good (same as I do with other colleagues both male and female). Very occasional coffee out (same as with other colleagues), no other non work socialising at all. Did allow limited texting out of work but there's never been much, all very low key occasional.
It seems that me leaving at the end of the next four weeks has triggered some batshit behaviour. He's kindly helped organise my leaving do. He ends up in the course of these unexpected texts telling me he wants to take me out, confirming it is a date, telling me I have a sexy bum (!!), I tell him mate I've got no interest in dating you or anyone now or at any time in the future nor no plans for it (new job will be very demanding, it's THE best job I'll have had in my entire life (I'm not exaggerating!) and so my focus will be on that), he comes back with - "No I'm not ready either" I'm like, no, not I'm not eady, I'm telling you I'm not interested - at all. "Oh I don't want to rush into anythign either". "NO I'm saying I am NOT and WILL NOT be interested, now or at any time within the next 5 years. Still happy to be mates though". Then he comes back with "Oh that's so nice to hear, more ramblings about the future and possible things in the future (so he's not heard a single thing I've said) at which point any chance of any friendship from this point forward / after I leave has now been wiped clear. Never going to happen as I said to him, I would not want to be being 'friends' with you if you're hoping all the time that something will happen - he clearly is thinking that's the case and I'm not into that and I said so.
What really pisses me off about this is that his/our occasional out of work texting, him being agreeable at work and so on - it wasn't friendship or colleaguey behaviour, it was actually him wanting to get into my pants essentially. So basically all that 'friend' stuff was an absolute and total load of shite. Pure fantasy based on NOTHING. NOTHING other than a totally misguided fantasy of us together as a couple in some form.
- Amorous rail worker
Every day - every bloody day - he's waiting for me by the ticket office/near the ticket barriers. I had a while where I had a rail card that kept not working. Comments every time, trying to flirt, comments on what I'm wearing. Utterly tiresome. Then on occasions (not to any excessive amount) but on walking through the barrier, him standing just slightly in the way so he holds me up for just a couple of seconds (when zero seconds was the appropriate length of time) from being able to pass freely straight through the barriers. Then on Monday I can't believe as I'm walking up to the entrance of the station, he's waiting at the feckin' entrance! As I stride past (was in a rush to get a particular train) he starts walking beside me (yes, like on those 'girl walking in NYC' videos!!!) and says (well, starts saying) "I thought I'd escort you...." [to the ticket office] so I said "I'd rather you didn't" and just continued on leaving him in my vapour trail.
And I just think, what the FUCK is wrong with men?!? Do they all live in a complete fantasy world where they think every women they see fancies them? Can you never speak to a colleague for example or share a joke with a colleague for fear that you are 'giving out signals' that you fancy them and want to get into their underpants?!? If this is the case there must be at least three other men whom I've either sat next to or at one time or another had 1:1s with, or maybe even just had a natter to at the photocopier - I wonder if I'm on all their fantasy shag lists as well? Except I know I'm not because they haven't commented on my ass or asked me to go on dates with them!! BECAUSE THEY MUST HAVE KNOWN I WASN'T FLIRTING WITH THEM.
I mean, it's almost funny except that it's not. It's no bloody wonder women get raped all the time - they clearly think every woman 'wants them' unless she's an utter bitch to them from the first second they see them - I mean, is that the answer? Be a total nasty shit, don't pass the time of day, don't smile - so they steer clear of you?
Honestly I do think men are utterly bonkers, make assumptions based on no supporting evidence that is just staggering to me. I KNOW with this colleague that I have not given him ANY bleedin' signals about anything.
I am SO angry about both of these but especially the work colleague one. It's actually made my stomach turn when I think about what he may have been thinking about me (fantasizing about me? yeuch) when I thought we were just being mates and the dishonesty of that hidden agenda where he knows what is intentions are but he knows that I don't, just proper gives me the rage. I've only got a month left in this job and now I've got a totally awkward scenario to have to sit next to him for the next month, a situation entirely of his making. I might well move to be honest and sorry if his feelings are hurt but hey, you made comments about my body parts outside of work to me so I think we could view that as even Stephens.
Yours, disgustedly.