A quick refresh.. have been in a relationship for 8 years. Got a DS, mortgage in boyfriends name. He is abusive. Well I think it's abuse? Calls me slag, ugly, fat and worthless in front of our son. The odd shove. I'm 27, have been with him since I was 19. He's all I've ever known and is very handsome. I suppose I've always been in awe of him and had quite low self esteem which has resulted in him doing whatever the hell he likes. 
In a nut shell he knows I'm unhappy and have been for a while. Went on a make or break holiday recently. He was lovely. Has been lovely ever since but I just cannot forget what he has said and done to me in the past. I got attention from a friend of a friend which gave me a little confidence boost and I thought maybe I'm not so bad after all. So I've decided to leave him. Still in touch with this guy but he lives 200 miles away so could never work out at least I think?? I've always known that I have to leave for myself, not for anyone else. Currently living with DP but not together which is hell on earth but I can't afford to move out and going back to my mams is a no go.
Have cried non-stop for days after being so emotionally shut off for years (I can't even remember last time I cried before this). It was my birthday yesterday and he said he wanted to come to my family's house with me. I said well that will be a bit awkward since my family know about us breaking up. Hell breaks loose - "what have you told them? Bet you've portrayed yourself as an angel." I haven't, I've given a fair account of what has happened! He always says that I make myself out to be perfect??? Never the case.
Anyway, so my dad really gets on with him. Thinks he's the bees knees - would KILL him if he knew what he calls me. Please bare in mind my dad and me never have a cross word to say to each other. He called me yesterday (drunk) to say that I was making a huge mistake leaving DP and I would regret it and loose everything. He doesn't want his grandson brought up in a broken home etc.
This has really hit home for me as my boy's happiness is paramount to me. He is literally the only thing that keeps me going. This is just so hard. It doesn't help that DP is being so nice to me too as its harder to remember the horrible things when someone is being nice and it makes me feel dreadfully sorry for him. Does it all get easier??? Will I be alone?? (biggest fear)
I don't even know what advice I am expecting here as I know deep down it's the right thing to do. It's so overwhelming as I have always destined myself to a life of unhappiness to keep my family together and now there is a tiny glimmer of hope and happiness at the end of the tunnel.