Should I tell him to jog on or...?

[originalnutella]

Went on a date with a guy I met online a couple of weeks ago. We got on well but I wasn't sure if I fancied him. However we met up again for a drink last week. Again we got on really well.

It sometimes takes me a while to 'warm up' to people. So I thought we should go out again, as we did have a laugh.

He has messaged me saying that he isn't sure if he wants to meet up as he finds me reserved and hard to read? He said he would have a think about it.

Should I just tell him to go away? I suddenly feel like I'm on the back foot and I wasn't sure if I liked him that much anyway!

He’s playing you- save yourself time and trouble and dump him!

yeah tell him to piss off tbh

Lol what a charmer! Next!

If you're not sure if you like him on he first date, that doesn't bode well.

For me personally, I expect sparks and butterflies. If you're not getting them, don't go on another date.

Send him a message saying "OK, don't worry about it. I wasn't sure about you either hence asking for another date. But I dont particularly want to be waiting around for you to think about whether or not you want to go on another date. Nice meeting you though. Bye."

Swipe and move on 😂

I usually wouldn't bother with no spark after a first date but my friends keep telling me to give people more of a chance... also a few of my exes I didn't fancy at first but then once I got to know them it grew.

Basically he's saying he didn't think you'd shag him asap. So now he expects you to go all out to prove him wrong. Cheeky wanker!

'He'll think about it'??? that alone would make me tell him to jog on......
That is so rude. He should have 'thought about it' first before saying anything. He sounds like a dick.

Oh come on. OP said herself that it can take her a while to warm up to people. Clearly her doubt came through when they were on the two dates and he’s picked up on it, hence the “reserved” feeling.

Maybe I’m not cynical enough, but I’d assume he’s just letting her down gently by saying he’d think about it, not playing some sort of negging game. Either way, another date’s clearly not on the cards.

I don’t think he’s done anything wrong- let’s not waste eachothers time, you’re not keen, he’s picked up on it- “lovely to have met you, all the best”

I thought that too OP.

I thought I needed to start giving people a chance. That I couldn't have everything. Turned out badly.

Don't ever lower your expectations . You CAN have everything.

Tell him fuckity bye

I would say " No worries, I guess you picked up on the fact that I had reservations about you too, but nice meeting you".

Trust your judgement. If you don't fancy him, you don't fancy him.

He said he would have a think about it
Your response - 'No need to think. I didn't feel a spark, so we can both move on to the next one. Good luck'

I'm talking about this to someone I'm messaging. I told him that it takes me a while to feel anything for someone and he says that you have to feel something. I've retorted that people are different. I just know from past experience that I've only ever been attracted to someone I've gotten to know. We haven't actually met but I refuse to be pressurised into making a decision when we do meet. If he wants an immediate decision and I'm not feeling it then the answer is going to be no.

I wouldn't expect to feel the excitement coursing through my body on a first date, that really is not me, but for me there has to be something that intrigues me and makes me think "Hmmm!" - I like their eyes, or find myself thinking about something they said. Or I have dates with other people but already half-know they don't stand a chance!

If I was interested in someone but found them reserved at this early stage I'd give them a while to warm up, presuming they were either the reserved type or not that interested in me, and I'd find out which soon enough. I'd keep my thoughts to myself, as there's nothing wrong with being reserved or not interested. They owe me nothing.

This guy already sounds critical after 2 dates. That would be a "byee" from me.

You've both got reservations and he's had the balls to voice it. Good for him.

Either he's negging you (so is a twat) or is not that into you(so why bother?).

Give him a response that indicates you don't give a shit either and move on.

"Ah no worries, I didn't feel a spark either. Hope you meet someone nice. Cheers'

Good for him. There are lots of nice people in the world but that doesn’t mean there’s going to be that spark with them all.

It’s ok not to want to be with someone just because there’s no spark, there doesn’t have to be anything particularly wrong.

The guy's done not a thing wrong , he just mirrors OP exact thoughts...and was upfront and transparent about it. Men! You can't get away with that honesty shit on MN 😂

at Onemansoapopera

He hasn't done anything wrong. He's just noticed that you aren't showing signs of being interested. He's likely sent this message to see how much you protest, while saving face if you confirm his suspicions.