Feeling so low about relationship with partner.

[Fdbjg123]

Me and my boyfriend have been together a while now and even have a gorgeous 5 month old baby boy together. Since the baby has been born I've really noticed how lazy my partner is. He does go to work and have a job, yes, but he seems to believe his responsibilities end there. He rarely helps clean the flat or look after LO when he's around. I'm a university student so have my own work to be doing as well as looking after the baby and trying to keep the flat clean but if I ask him to help out more he tells me he's already done enough and I'm asking too much of him. He does make dinner I'll give him that and sometimes does a night feed because I cannot for the life of me get back to sleep when I get up to tend to baby in the night (hence this post!) and I'm left utterly exhausted the next day. Anyway what the problem is is our arguing. Due to my sleep deprivation and stressed mind (i think) he just makes me so angry about all this. I'll tell him repeatedly I need more help and he points out repeatedly the few things he does and that I'm ungrateful. He talks to me in such a condescending tone as if I'm stupid and my feelings about this are invalid. It makes me so mad because I know what I'm saying is going in one ear and out the other especially considering he talks over me when I'm trying to tell him anything so I literally have to shout to be paid attention to at all. What gets me most is I tell him the few things that he could do to help me out (like bleach the toilet and clean off HIS shit stains or pick up his OWN clothes off the floor!!) and he makes out I'm lying and he does that already when I know for a fact he hasnt because I end up doing it for him. Or he'll say he hoovered two weeks ago as if the place doesn't need hoovering a couple times a week especially with a little baby about. I just feel like sobbing as I write this because I'm so frustrated and overwhelmed and just don't know what to do. We just had an argument now about how he was speaking to the crying baby (he shouted at him and made him hysterical) so I had to take over even though I was up til half 1 settling him already so only have had 2 hours sleep whereas he was asleep since 11pm. I had to tell him to sleep on the sofa in the end because I couldn't stand being made out to be a liar and 'crazy' anymore I guess this is more of a rant really. Just needed to get all this off my chest.

Wow he sounds like a real catch. Do you have any family you can take your baby and stay with for a while? I wouldn't tolerate that shit behaviour from my bloke for a moment.

Is your home bought or rented? In both names or one?

It sounds like you have a lot going on with a young child, house work and university.
Sleep deprivation may be a big factor for what's happening and your ability to communicate with each other.
How were things before the baby?
If things were ok and there is nothing major I would wait for a time when you feel (more) rested to think about this and maybe (calmly) talk to your boyfriend about what you both think it's reasonable to do and how to split it.
He is doing some of it now which is positive.
Could it be that you have a different standard of needs doing and need to define a common plan?
I would prioritase what really needs doing and make sure you both save some time to rest.
It sounds like he lost it by shouting and that would upset me too. Is this a one off due to misjudgement and lack of sleep or is there a pattern here?
Take care.

Well, a sweeping generalisation, I know, but it sounds like most men. Can't be arsed to do anything around the house and think you should be grateful for anything they do deign to do. It's as if they think they employ you to do all that boring stuff! Can't you go and stay with dp's for a little while, and let him get on with it?

@Fdbjg123 are you okay?

I'm not sure I agree it's how most men are.

This is a lazy pig who thinks it's a woman's job to do the domestic drudge work. Well no, actually. That drudgery is not a woman's responsibility.

He thinks he's doing you such a favour eh. He's training you to not make a fuss - he's making it so hard for you that in the end you'll give up and do it yourself.

Personally, that would be the end for me. I'm not joking. If his mother did all that shit then he can go back and live with her.