Long story cut short;
Ex has long history of MH problems, diagnosed with PTSD, BPD and depression. We split around 4 years ago and he moved out, he became very unwell 18 months ago and I allowed him to move back into the family home to get back on his feet. The conditions of him moving back in were that he take his medication (has a history of just stopping it) and he help around the house (was signed of work due to MH). Slept in separate room, absolutely no sort of sexual relationship between us, took meds and helped for around 8 months and then started to slip back into old ways.
Has a history of being verbally and emotionally abusive towards me and to be completely fair, I have also been verbally abusive to him in retaliation. Four kids, eldest two began having issues with him over the last few months. Problems include him being verbally abusive to them, and as a result them being mildly disrespectful. Middle child requested that I ask him to leave several times as they did not like living with him. All came to a head last week over a silly argument, I asked him to leave. He’s not been taking his meds, back at work and refuses point blank to do anything in the house. Basically ignores us all, does his own thing, his room is a tip. Argument became very heated, he called me for everything, ie a whore, murderer (over abortion I had when our relationship was ending) said that I had turned the children against him, called me evil, sick, lazy (I work full-time😐) basically everything under the sun. Two middle children were in the house at this time, one child recorded what he was saying and send it to eldest child. He then left and we were all very upset. Next day eldest child is in the house alone when ex comes back, argument develops and ex grabs child’s face shouts and screams and then leaves. Eldest is extremely upset phones me hysterical.
Nobody has seen or heard from ex since, he has somewhere be can live and works so has money. One child text him and asked how he was, no reply. The child that text him he would usually reply to. I’m now concerned for his welfare and pondering checking on him. I don’t want to, I don’t want anything to do with him after the way he treated us, but I seem to have this strange need to check on him, I worry about him because if his MH. I actually think I need some sort of counselling over it because I don’t want to be worried about him.
Would you check on him? I’m thinking if he was very unwell or worse had harmed himself then his work would have a duty of care to report him missing or unwell wouldn’t they? If I was to try and get in touch with him he’s likely to be abusive/horrible etc. I hate feeling responsible for someone I don’t even like. If he didn’t have MH problems I wouldn’t even consider speaking to him again.