I don't know anywhere else to go with this but this website I have stumbled upon. My fiance of almost 5yrs is extremely depressed to the point that it has taken the last 3yrs of me fighting for us and telling him what I needed to be happy before he finally wants help. This comes after I told him i was tired and couldn't fight any longer.
We have had our couple/relationship issues like arguing, needs feeling they are not met, and even a few physical altercations. I was able to look past all that and be considerate to what him and his doc was telling me that his meds could have been causing him to have so much more depression, anger, and mood swings. I tried so hard to encourage him to seek counseling but he didn't except for maybe 1 or 2 sessions about a yr and half ago.
What led up to this was him getting extremely sick to the point we thought he was going to have complete kidney failure. Between this and the nerve damage in his feet he has a hard time working so I have been working paying all the bills. Also during this time he has become very negative, angry, and blaming. He comes off blaming his past, the depression, the meds,etc. I thought that my understanding and love would help him but now i see all i am doing is hurting myself at this point.
We still are living together because of the lease but now each day within the last week he has been begging me to give him another chance and that he will seek help. I have tried to explain to him my side but now he is starting to say things that are honestly making me feel guilty that I called it quits and that I want to walk. It is starting to make me question did i really try hard enough. But on the other hand my gut is like walk away because if i stay i wont stop wondering if he do change and improve when will the switch flip. I am just not happy anymore. I love him and only want the best but I feel like at this stage there is no more for me to do. Its like i was the only one that was trying to encourage him to get help until it got too late. Even now when he speaks i am hearing the right things but can't help but to think oh you just saying this to not lose me.
Any words of advice or encouragement are welcome. Just needed to share.