I have temporal lobe epilepsy, controlled with medication, and one of the main side effects I have now (from both the epilepsy AND the medication) is a really poor memory and poor concentration.
Normally my husband is pretty supportive, although he does roll his eyes a lot when I've forgotten something "yet again". I use a diary, notepads, I leave myself notes on the stairs etc where I'll see them, and things should go on a calendar in the hall. Apparently last week he told me he was going to spend this evening in the pub with his mates. He mentioned it again to me this morning, and at that point I could not remember him telling me about it last week. I have no memory of being told, at all.
This afternoon he got home from work just after 5pm. He sat with me to have a cup of tea, and a chat about a few things, then went upstairs at about 6.30 to shower and change (he works a manual job) whilst I cooked dinner.
I was wondering why he seemed really anxious about dinner at 7.45.....it was almost ready, but not quite. Then, at 7.55 he suddenly said he had to go, he'd be late. I must have looked at him blankly because he just erupted, saying he'd told me this effing morning that he was going to the pub at 8, and he was pissed off with me.
I did ask why hadn't he said it again when he came in. Apparently I should have remembered it from this morning. He shouldn't have to remind me of everything all the time. I asked again why he hadn't even mentioned it when he got in, as I could have had tea on an hour before I did instead of chatting with him and making him a cuppa, and I just got "oh it's my effing fault now is it?" snarled at me. I feel shit. I feel absolutely shit. I genuinely can't help not remembering, and now I'm sitting here in tears whilst he's in the pub with his mates and probably blaming me for his being 5 minutes late.
I don't know what I should do. I take all the tablets. I try, as much as I can, to remember everything I have to. I probably didn't remember this trip to the pub tonight because I wasn't going to go. I suppose he could accuse me of not caring, but he was in the house for almost three hours before he reminded me about it.
I'm sorry, I just needed to let off a little rant. He's not a pub goer normally or a drinker, and they were meeting up to organise an overseas trip, so yes, it is important to him, but all he had to do is give me a wee reminder earlier. Is that too much to ask?