Age gaps - a general wondering

[BeTrue]

Hi all,

I just have a general query really, how does everyone feel about age gaps in a relationship?

Background - I was 22 when I met my current partner, he was 39, we met through work and hit it off immediately, he was divorced with 2 children and has an amicable relationship with his ex. We have no issues at all in our relationship and have now been together 6 years, I often get asked by friends, coworkers etc if the age gap bothers us? All we can say is honestly, it is never something we notice and has never caused us an issue.

Me and his kids get on great and they never ask about it, his ex wife and I get along well also!

Has anybody else had similar experiences or what do they think of age gaps? thank you for reading! x

Age gaps are totally at the mercy of the older partner (usually male).

Maybe it’s a meeting of minds and you love each other and it’s no a problem.

In your circumstances it sounds fine and why would you justify yourself to anyone?

First love was 24 years older, married a guy 20 years older, got divorced, got together with DP 16 years older, and now having an affair with first love (27 years on). I think I just like older men.

I always brush it off when people make jokes and things but I often wonder why people think it necessary to ask anything at all? We are clearly very happy and it clearly doesn't bother us so why does it bother them?

I would never ask someone why there were with another person just because their relationship wasn't the 'normal' male/female same age relationship? Very bizarre, love is love and that's all there is to it.

It's never been an issue for us - we just take it into account when planning (eg mortgage will be paid off before his retirement age as he's older). And we've had the conversations about death, illness, what we'd like to do for funerals etc.
TBH I usually forget the age difference. It occasionally creeps in when he forgets I don't have any memories of the 70s etc! It sometimes makes him upset when he gets mistaken for DD's grandad rather than her dad!

(19 year age gap)

People at 22 and at 39 are at very different stages in life, it's as simple as that. And thus it's natural to be curious about how it works, if someone is doing the compromising. It's usually the younger person.

For example, if hypothetically you turn around at 38 and blurt out "I want a baby" (like me!) then you will be saying that to a 55 year old. I'd be surprised if it was the answer you wanted to hear.

But maybe it'll all be tickety boo and it won't matter.

What @ElspethFlashman said about expectations and talking about what you both want. We both wanted children and so we knew that would be with him as an older dad (yes, he was 55!). It would have been disastrous if one of us wanted a child and the other didn't.

And yes, it's hard, because physically he isn't as fit as someone 30 years younger but we cope.

The children thing has never been an issue, he has his 2, and I adore them both, they are currently wrestling with our other baby (the dog) in the front room and I wouldn't want our house any other way.

I was always on the fence about having children and then at 19 I found out I couldn't have them, now I have 2 amazing step sons and an amazing partner.

Although, I have always looked older than I am so not happy when people think I could be old enough to be their mum!