The one that got away??

[Supermummy06]

10 years ago I met a guy through mutual friends and we got on great, used to have a laugh on nights out. We ended up sleeping together after some time but nothing happened relationship wise (we were very young) although stayed friends.

8 years ago I met my now partner and we have settled down and had kids.. for the past 3/4 years at least once a month I will get a drunken message from the other guy asking how I am and that I should have a catch up with him. I used to just reply in the morning and not really think much. Over the past year my relationship has been pretty rocky to say the least and I’ve found myself messaging him if I’m on a night out and he always responds. There’s a couple occasions where we have been out (with our separate friends) at the same time and had the best time.

I bumped into him recently and he’s just told me he’s going to be a dad and I am so happy for him, but a part of me is abit jealous. He seemed really nervous when he was saying it too.. I just really can’t get him out of my head

I would never want to ruin his relationship especially now his partner is pregnant but should I speak to him the next time I see him on a night out and ask how he feels? If he tells me he doesn’t feel anything like that towards me it will be easier for me to not think about him.

Any advice?

If he’s going to be a Dad I’d just give him a wide berth now. He’s had his chances to get close to you and chosen not to. I think you are only going to get hurt if you keep in contact with him.

*I would never want to ruin his relationship especially now his partner is pregnant
*
Then you know your answer. Concentrate on what to do now with your own relationship.

I understand and totally agree with the advice .. since I have been in my relationship whenever we have a bad patch it’s always him I think about. I’m just going to have to try my best to not think about him and hope he doesn’t message me

So block his number then.

I've been where you are. You're only interested because your relationship is going through a rough patch.

When I fixed my relationship problems, the temptation to text went right away. In fact I became horrified by the mere thought of contact.

Work on your problems closer to home would be my advice. I know the fantasy/escapism of him is a welcome distraction, but it's only prolonging your anguish.

And also... "the one that got away" is a total rom-com created myth. It's not a thing. It's your brain making excuses for bad behaviour/thoughts.

I agree with block his number. You will ruin things for him, his partner and their baby if you tell him your feelings. No good will come from it and you risk making yourself look ridiculous and feeling hurt.
Some people are in the past for a reason and they are best kept there. You have no real idea of what this man is like in a full on relationship, you have only seen the good bits so it's likely the fantasy of him you're attracted to.