Feeling a little lost. I’ll try to keep it brief.
I posted earlier in the year about messages I’d found that my husband had posted to one of his female work mates. It ended in a blazing row and I told him to leave. He did. We agreed it was over and the good folks of MN agreed he was a bit of an arse. He only came back when I asked him to because I’d had a health scare and was terrified to face that by myself.
We resumed our relationship. He said he loved him, he was very sorry for hurting me etc etc. Six weeks late I found more messages but that time they were to a mutual friend of ours. He denied everything, called me controlling for not allowing him female friends, punched a hole in our bedroom door, threw his wedding ring at me and stormed off. He said it was over. I got the ‘truth’ from my ‘friend’ and he’d kissed her. They’d almost slept together but stopped. She was sorry 😐
When confronted with the ‘truth’ he admitted to kissing her. That was all that had happened and they were over. It was a lie. They were still messaging each other, it was explicit, photos etc. I saw all of that it it was heartbreaking and sickening.
It’s been tough but not impossible. I work full time, look after two children, had an operation, and in truth had one of the toughest years of my life. But I’ve coped. The bills have been paid, I’ve went on some dates (kept it away from the children) etc etc.
My husband is re writing the narrative of what happened earlier in the year. I realise this is part of the script. He now claims that he left because ‘he knew he was going to get thrown out anyways’. He claims because he wants to come back that he is working on our marriage. He has lost almost everything- his home, his job, my extended family, his step child, his car and probably his driving license soon all as a direct result of his actions. He was also dumped by a new girlfriend when she found out he’d cheated on his wife as he ‘couldn’t be trusted’ (good for you lady, you’re right, he’s a liar)
Anyways I don’t even know the point of my post. I’m rambling. He wants to come back. And is blaming me for not allowing it. But he has told so many lies that there’s no trust there. He even lied about going to the STI clinic and getting the same result as me just because he was sick of me asking about it. That particular lie caused a lot of issues for me at the clinic as I struggled to get a conclusive answer as to whether I had gonnorhea or not. He has treat me appallingly this year and yet I am still treating him with kindness (I bought him some food to see him through as he waits for his universal credit to go through).
I am currently doing the Freedom Project course because I’m obviously my own worst enemy when it comes to men 😢