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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feelings for friend

2 replies

PurpleCurtains · 16/09/2018 11:16

I need advice. I’ve got feelings for my (male) best friend and don’t know what to do Sad

I’m fairly sure he doesn’t reciprocate- I had feelings a while back but he wasn’t keen, we then went no contact for quite some time but over the last couple of months have become close again. At first it was fine and I was ok in the friendzone but as the intensity heats up I feel vulnerable again and quite anxious. He contacts me most days, we see each other at least once a week and he initiated two things last week. We talk about everything and he tells me his innermost feelings - the emotional intimacy is quite intense. He knows most everything about me, largely because he asks so many questions, including about things like ex boyfriends etc. But, he’s very forthright in going for women (I’ve seen it before but not recently) so know that he’d surely make a move if he felt it. And he was in touch multiple times a day last week but has barely replied to any messsges I’ve sent since which has made me realise how vulnerable I am here, and confused about his pulling back.

What to do? I don’t want to tell him as it went so badly last time and I ended up very hurt by his response (it turned out he’d just started seeing someone that I didn’t know about)

OP posts:
RainySeptember · 16/09/2018 11:35

Well he's not a very good friend is he?

Even if we overlook that he knows you have feelings for him and still contacts you daily and encourages emotional intimacy, he drops you like a hot coal when he has a new love interest and has in fact ignored most of your messages since Wednesday.

He's not interested romantically, so what are you getting out of this friendship?

If you don't want confrontation, just pull back gradually. He thinks nothing of ignoring your texts, start ignoring his. Don't say yes to every meet up.

PurpleCurtains · 16/09/2018 20:21

Perhaps you’re right - he’s not a good friend at all

OP posts:
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