Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

10 year anniversary/am I over reacting?

6 replies

RunningOnMusic · 15/09/2018 20:26

Married for 10 years together for 12. 2 kids 5 & 7. Very up and down last 2 years of marriage, but sought marriage counselling which I arranged and worked through things. 10 year anniversary comes round. DH cancels dinner plans due to being unwell.. fair enough..but this happens every time an occassion is important to me. Had actually been hinting for two years for a weekend away no kids but it fell on deaf ears. The restaurant and babysitter were both booked by me and cancelled by me. I gave him an anniversary card and ££ chocolates. I got the same card he got me. We had said we would get a garden bench... I am working full time. He isn't working at the mo...sent him links to some 2 weeks ago.. he didn't buy one saying he was too busy. He was well enough to go to the barber and do activities with the children on special meal out day. No real apology about the cancelled plans. No flowers. Nothing. I am really hurt and I think it is thoughtless. I know things have been bumpy due to work situations, health, life with young children. We worked hard, or at least I have worked hard at getting things back on track. But this is a bit upsetting and a kick in the teeth. Am I over reacting?

OP posts:
Prawnofthepatriarchy · 15/09/2018 20:30

No. I don't think you are. I think your DH is telling you he's angry or at the least resents you. As you say, he can sort out things he wants to do. Celebrating your anniversary isn't one of them. Sorry.

Waddsup12 · 15/09/2018 20:30

I just had my anniversary, we didn't do anything & that was fine. This isn't tho, as it's actively avoiding celebrating. Well enough to do stuff with the kids, well enough to go out...

Butterymuffin · 15/09/2018 20:41

It does seem to send the message that he sees making an effort in the relationship as your job.

Kennycalmit · 15/09/2018 21:20

It doesn’t seem like he’s making any effort. I don’t get the impression he’s angry at you Confused I just think for whatever reason he doesn’t care about putting in the effort and you need to find out why

It takes two for a relationship/marriage to work. I don’t blame you for feeling upset.

Shoxfordian · 15/09/2018 21:21

That's shit
Don't do another 10 years
Life is short

crispysausagerolls · 15/09/2018 21:43

I would not be willing to continue being so unappreciated. I think you need to seriously sit down with DH and explain just how much this has upset you, and he needs to take steps to make you feel more loved and special.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread