I made a similar post not too long ago. Basically my oh and I have been back together for 3 years now. Last year I caught him looking up someone he was sleeping with when we separated for a few months. I asked him why he felt the need to do this, and at first he wasn't honest about who she was & insisted she was an old school friend (she was too young to even be in school at the same time as him). First he told me 'he bumped into her and looked her up aftwards', then it was 'I saw her in the street', then it was 'I found out she was pregnant so I wanted to be nosey'. He didn't actually tell me the honest truth until months later. It was the fact he felt the need to lie to me for so long that hurt me the most. Since then I haven't been able to let it go. It was years ago he saw this girl and after us having another 2 babies together, he goes and does this. He is NOT the type of person to be nosey EVER, he says it's completely pointless and unnecessary. Yet he did it so this proves to me he had some interest in knowing things about her life. Since then we've been massively rocky and certain things he brings up randomly reference her and this annoys me as he knows I was really upset about his lies. Basically even though he hasn't spoken to her (supposedly), I feel like there is still so much I don't know about and he won't tell me because he's scared of losing our family relationship. He says if we broke up he wouldn't see the kids because he would be too hurt (pathetic I know). He knows I would leave him over this. AIBU by feeling this way? I literally can't get over it as I placed 100% of my trust in him and my gut is telling me I don't even know the half of it. What would you do if you were in my situation? We've had countless conversations about it and tried to resolve it but my head won't let it go.