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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can I support my sister? (TW: DV, control)

0 replies

Lizardlegs · 14/09/2018 23:40

Advice welcome please.

I live here in the UK. Sister lives in Canada where we grew up. She's in the same city as my mother.

When I was back in August my sister told me that her husband of two years is a violent alcoholic (almost inevitable for one of us - our late dad was an alcoholic) - and that she spent her evenings hiding from him in the bathroom. He confronts her and pokes here and blames her, and then threatens to commit suicide if she leaves. I encourage her to get out of that situation ASAP and seek professional support.

She left her husband just after I got back to the UK. The police were involved as he had locked himself up in the basement and was threatening suicide.

Then she went away to visit friends in our hometown - my mother said that she should stay at my mother's when she get back.

But she didn't. She's back staying at her house with her husband and dog.

I think she needs to move out immediately or get him out and change the locks right away. (she's a career woman, he's a builder/musician). But I'm worried that she will choose to stay with him now.

Is there anything I can do/say to help? How can I support her without sounding judgemental. I just want her to be safe. And I'm not so sure I can help from here in the UK. She's not responding to my messages right now.

Your help appreciated

x LL

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