Hi All!))
I'm in quite difficult relations with my husband at the moment. We've been together (in total) just a bit more than 2 years and more likely we will separate.
My DH is a typical abuser I beleive, if someone read a book "Why does he do that?" - 80% is about him.
Just as an example I'll tell about today's morning: I'm running around getting ready for work, my DH doing something on the kitchen (he works from home today), our DS 1yo was playing and started crying as couldnt do something with his toy (he has that stage of frustration leading to tantrums now) and my DH says "DS, stop it please. No need to behave like your mom"... I'm shocked, didnt tell him anything as had no time for arguing which I know wont lead to anything good, only gave him surprised and mad look, what is absolutely clear that Im not happy with what he is saying. I finished getting ready, took DS (I'm dropping him in nursery) and went out. I didnt give a kiss to my DH on what he said "Whats wrong with you?!". When I got to train station I wrote him and we had next dialogue:
me: whats wrong with me? Thats what you are asking after telling our crying son "dont behave like your mom". whats wrong with you?
dh: I'm making humor, stop being and taking yourself so seriously. Learn to laugh and make fun. Not anger. You take offense far too easily. If you feel its inappropriate then say so without getting angry
me:whats funny in that? im sensitive and you know that I find it inappropriate as its not the first time. I take offenses the way I take them. No need to tell please how do I have to react.
DH didnt answer anything on that and I didnt hear from him whole day.
His abusive behavior became more frequent and I dont want to deal with it anymore. But I will need to for some time more as I cant just walk out.
How to deal with such man? Maybe its not an abuse at all?