Need help... dont know what to do....

[Lolly68]

I have been living with DP for nearly 3 years and we have a DD 16 months old. I work full time and live in DP's house - he has paid mortgage and bills and I pay childcare and shopping. He never wanted any money off me for mortgage. He told me last night that he wants me to move out because the relationship is not working. I'm so scared as I have no money and dont know where I stand legally. Can someone help me please. I dont want to split up with him but he is adamant that the relationship is over. I just want to make sure that me and DD are going to he ok.

Go and see a solicitor (many will offer an initial appointment free). I would say you're entitled to support for your DD but not sure about the house. Hopefully someone else will have more of an idea

Is there anyone you can stay with in the meantime (family, friends?).

Hi

I would concur seeking legal advice but would have to say that as you are unmarried you have far fewer rights in law.

Your ex doesn?t have to pay you any maintenance for your own benefit, even if you've given up work to look after the kids or your home (although they will still have to pay child support for their children).

If your ex owns the home, and there's no other agreement or understanding in place, you will have no automatic right to stay if your ex asks you to leave.

If there's no other agreement in place, your ex will walk away with all the savings and possessions they built up out of their own money. Where you bought things together but each contributed different amounts to the price, you own it in the shares in which you contributed. Basically what is his is his, whats your is yours and anything else is divided up.

He will have to pay something towards your DD's upbringing, that's for certain, and you will be entitled to benefits (housing, income support etc) as a single parent. Unfortunatley, as Attila says, you do not have many rights with regard to the house, etc as you weren't married. But do go and see a solicitor ASAP. Good luck.

Thank you all so much. I know that I have no rights on the house and I wouldnt take that away from him anyway. Not that sort of person. Can I stay here though until I sort something out - he cant just chuck me out surely? I will see a solicitor this week.

Hi Lolly

If your ex owns the home, and there's no other agreement or understanding in place, you will have no automatic right to stay if your ex asks you to leave.

Even though i have DD?

Well hopefully he would not throw you both out but he can ask you to leave and you have no automatic right to stay.

You need proper legal advice as soon as possible.

Mumblechum would no this as she helped me in my situation, which is slighly different to yours as we are jointly named on the deeds to the house. You may be able to claim under schedule 1 of the childrens act for some of the equity in the house to enable you to buy/rent a property fo you and your daughter. Although YOU are not entitled to aything he owns/or savings you can apply on behalf of your daughter.

I am doing this at the moment, as I will need more than my half to enable me to buy a home for myself and the children.

Were you aware that the relationship was in trouble or is this a bolt from the blue?

Contact Tax Credits and tell them the situation and stop you joint claim that you have with him. They will reassess you individaly and more than likely you will get a higher payment. Mine has gone up and they are alo going to pay 80% of the childcare fees.

Hope this helps

Unfortunately, if your name is not on the deeds of the house and you have not been paying any part of the mortgage then, technically, he can throw you out into the street. You're actually less protected, legally, than if you were a lodger/tenant. Is this something you think he might actually do? Or is he prepared to be reasonable about allowing you time to find somewhere to go? If he is talking seriously about throwing your belongings out and changing the locks then you need to seek immediate advice as to your rights: the council where you live will have a duty to house you (though this probably will mean a hostel) as you are "vulnerable" - a single mother who is not working.

Thank you everyone for your help and advice. Yesterday DP had second thoughts and said that he wants to make us work so it looks like I still have a home at the moment! It was very scary but at least now it has made me never be put in that position again. Will now look into making myself financially secure but will still seek legal advice in case it happens again so I know what yo do.