My mum is really spiteful. She’s rude and aggressive, it’s getting worse as she gets older but she has always been this way. I used to be able to deal with it and tolerate it but recently I have come near to breaking point and can not cope with her comments anymore.
The type of things she does may seem trivial but when I add them up I just cannot cope with her spitefulness any longer.
I will give some insight into the type of things she does. She has nothing nice to say about anyone. She slagged off this woman she was working with recently, she said “urgh she’s disgusting, she looks like a man, how can SHE get a boyfriend?” Then one day we were driving past and we saw this woman and my mum said “there’s that woman you think is disgusting!” I was so shocked and told her it was her thoughts not mine but she just laughed. She sneers at people, she looks down her nose at people. She had a fling a couple of years ago with a married man. She stalked him and said horrendous things about his wife. She sniggers under her breath and rolls her eye if I make the slightest mistake. She always expects me to drive and then laughs if I make a wrong turn. I helped her with an issue with a company once and she told her boyfriend at the time that I was the person to send nasty letters to complain. She came round last Christmas and complained that I hadn’t cooked any sprouts, she literally went on and on. She bought her latest boyfriend round and we were playing a game and she muttered under her breath “go on, beat her”. She said my youngest daughter who is a slim size 8-10 that she couldn’t wear a top because she was too butch.
I have helped her so much since my father passed away. I took her out shopping twice a week, she moved nearer to us and we helped her get her house organised. Put up all of her blinds. We’ve even helped her on the internet and taught her how to use an iPad. She shoves the iPad and her kindle in our faces and tells us to fix it, no please or thank you. I have done her hair free of charge for years every 6 weeks as I’m a hairdresser. She says to me that I need to do her hair, again no please or thank you. The latest thing happened a couple of months ago, my eldest daughter is about to move out and live with her boyfriend, she was 20 at the time but has just turned 21. My mum said “well she should be married with 2 kids by now” I really snapped at this and subsequently I haven’t had any contact with my mum for 8 weeks now. She has tried to provoke me, she has said that I’m ignoring her - I’m not, I just haven’t rung her, but neither has she rung me. I am at a loss as to how to cope with it. The thought of being in a room with her triggers a huge amount of stress, I feel physically ill at the thought. She is 71 and obviously I have already lost my dad. What should I do, any suggestions?