My wife doesn’t have feelings for me anymore :(

[1993mik]

Hello everyone, as you can tell by the name things are not good :/ I’ve been married to my wife for nearly 5 years and we have 3 beautiful children together, about 5 months ago I wrongly accused her of cheating on me, This wasn’t out of the blue as I had noticed things have been different and she wasn’t as close to me anymore so I asked if there was someone else. Since then she hasn’t been able to forgive me for this and says I have pushed her away and no longer have feelings for me. This has completely devistated me as I am madly in love with this woman and I could not picture my life without her I admit that since hearing this horrible news I seem to have become more clingy and needy of her approval witch I know is the wrong thing to do.... I guess I’m just asking if there is still hope and if there is anyone here who expearianced a similar situation and did it turn out good in the end.

Thank you for reading

about 5 months ago I wrongly accused her of cheating on me, This wasn’t out of the blue as I had noticed things have been different and she wasn’t as close to me anymore so I asked if there was someone else. Since then she hasn’t been able to forgive me for this and says I have pushed her away and no longer have feelings for me.

^This is a classic scenario. I can guarantee you that she is either interested in someone else or is already having an affair.

This is my biggest fear but she is addimant she is not interested in anyone else or is the type of person to cheat, I just have no idea what to do that will make things right or if she is having an affair bring the truth out so I can start to move on with my life.

Has she said what she actually wants? Not tgat you have to give it to her, but if her feelings have 'gone' what does she think she is going to do to try and get them back?

Tbh she hasn’t said what she wants to do, it’s just everyday where I try my hardest to make her happy but it never seems to work. I know that I shouldn’t be in this marriage because all it’s doing at the moment is chipping away at my self confidence but I can’t help but stay because I love her and I love my kids and I was extremely happy before :(

"about 5 months ago I wrongly accused her of cheating on me, This wasn’t out of the blue as I had noticed things have been different and she wasn’t as close to me anymore so I asked if there was someone else."

When you say "things have been different", what do you mean? Was it the first time you've ever accused her of cheating in any way?

Seems too convenient. She wouldn’t suddenly lose feelings based on that - it’s not nice, but she could work through it. Maybe your instincts were correct.

I noticed that she was taking more care in her appearance (witch I don’t have a problem with it’s just out of character) she no longer leaves her phone laying around and she just seemed to be distant from me and our sex life has gone stale. This was the first time I ever accused her of doing it because I had keyed it bottled up for so long and I just had to ask because it was driving me crazy.

I’ve never wanted to be more wrong in my whole life tbh and just hope that if she does have feeling for someone else she is honest with me so I can stop thinking it’s me and move on.

Sounds like there is an OM lurking around somewhere and she's just using your question as justification for her change in attitude. Be patient (difficult I know), wait and see, and maybe she'll come to her senses. Relate, maybe? It's unlikely anyone else will want to take on 3 kids

I think there is someone else she either has feelings for or have had a thing with at work, but why can’t she just be honest with me and do the right thing in telling me instead of causing pain to me for so long.

If she doesn't love you anymore, you trying will not change that so stop driving yourself crazy thinking that it will.
Now you need to think, What does it matter if she is or she isn't cheating?
You accusing, being suspicious, questioning etc will only serve to drive you potty, it won't stop what's going on. You aired you suspicions, she reacted as negatively as possible, thats enough to say the relationship is pretty.much done.

But the other night we had the descussion where I said if you want me to leave then I will leave but she keeps aging I don’t know and is uncertain of what she wants, Would this mean she must have feelings and is denying them or am I just clutching in little speckles of hope that are made up in my own mind?

I think that means she’s being cowardly and pushing you away until you do, to be honest. If she loved you, you would know.

Means she's not sure yet if the fling with the OM (other man) has legs.

Take control and tell her to pack her bags. YOU are now making the decision since she can't.

What's your living situation? Rented, own? LHA, private? Joint tenancy/mortgage?

I'm guessing you're 24-25 right, was she your first real relationship? It's an outside chance, but it's possible you've just grown up in different ways since you met as children and your accusation was the shit-covered cherry on the rotten cake. (Still more likely she's had her head turned though.)

We lived in a flat what I paid for but I gave it up a few years back to move into a house so basically if this marriage ends I loose everything. Wife, Home, seeing my kids all the time ect and not my first real relationship no but first marriage, and I’m 25 yes. My last relationship broke up because she cheated on me and had a child who I first believed was mine so my trust is a little knocked from that but I still feel I have ground to be concerned here.

Take control of your destiny. Stop being clingy and googly the infidelity 180.

Mate... If she has started to keep her phone on her 24/7 then i am sorry to say that she is cheating.
Its the first thing they do
Been there in your situation a long time ago

And / or she's using this as an excuse to distance you intimacy-wise, whilst still keeping you as the man-about-the-house?

Another one to agree with Xenon888