Seperating

[daddy2kids]

Hi
Not sure if this is the correct place to put this, but looking for some help. Recently separated and have rwo amazing daughters, I want to make sure they are looked after and have no problem paying whats due do 20 percent of wages no issues at all. Problem ive got is im paying half mortgage as ex doesn't want to sell it. But its got me on me knees living with parents and cant even afford to do anything with the kids we seem to spend our days at the park lol
I collect them from school and sort their tea out after ive finished work (Works been flexible) so just have to make hours up
Currently the girls stay with me at parents 2 days a week, just cant see how im ever going to be able to rent or buy another property and want to be able to do things with kids, its really getting me down now
Im basically left after mortgage payment and paying 20 percent with £530 a month to live on and by time do car insurance (needed for work) petrol etc im left with pretty much nothing. I buy food for myself and kids to eat at parents although they say I don't need to but that's just way I am. Want to provide for kids just seems like im going to live at parents forever and never be able to afford to do anything with them. I did get offered a better paid job but would mean I couldn't collect kids after school, which I enjoy and we would struggle to get someone else to be able to do it every day. Sorry to rant a bit just don't know what to do
Thanks for any input

Why are you paying half the mortgage as well as maintenance? Did you agree this in mediation/with solicitors?

Why are you and the children like being with your parents instead of in the family home was my first thought?

You don’t say if you are divorcing or separating. If not married how do you own the house with your ex? You may be able to force a sale if you’re not married

sorry to clarify we are married, she is still living in the home with kids staying there. Ive moved to parents and its only place I can really have them overnight. Couldn't stay in family home as its not fair on kids, to see us arguing hence why im at me mams
Thought as it was house where kids were staying paying half, was what was expected and I know she couldn't afford it without me paying half? thanks for replys

Hi there OP,

We hope you don't mind, we're going to move your thread to relationships where you'll get some better support.

ahh ok sorry im new didn't really know where to put it thanks

You need to see a solicitor asap. I suspect that you are paying over the odds. No one would expect you to be utterly penny less as a result of separation, that's just inhuman. You are entitled to equity from your joint property so I'd explore what options there are available.

yeah I think so but she cant afford it on own, thanks for help, rather spend £1000 doing something with bairns but might have to see solicitor then

don't suppose anyone has been in a similar position to me? thanks

You need to see a solicitor, my friend currently does it he pays the mortgage and what's left over out of the CSA calculation goes to her.

Maybe try that and see how much you would be paying in total.

Or get the house sold and she can get one within her means and you pay her child support.

But maybe you should just see a solicitor and work it out from there.

ok thanks guess il try talking to her but, this wont go well and see from there I cant go on im stressed to bits. I could take a job and have no money worries but its same kind of job that I left so I could pick kids up and see them on weekend
Might end up not picking them up and seeing them Saturday and sunday but at least will be able to do things and get a home so they can have own bedrooms ahh well thank for help

My STBXH pays the mortgage, but that's instead of child support, I wouldn't expect him to pay anymore than that.

I know she can’t afford to take over Mortgage and kids love the house areas great schools are great kids have friends in Street etc I don’t want them to move in fairness and if we did sell it she would have to move schools for kids etc
I’ve just Gota male the sacrifice I’m going to hand notice in and start new job ASAP will have to try and explain why can’t get them every day but it’s a sacrifice for the good of them long term going gives me few weeks with them after school before will start new jobs and then will be comfortable and can start by booking a nice hol and let them come house hunting and doing them bedrooms up etc will have every other sat and most Sunday’s and will try and make after school events where I can do hopefully they will be ok. Thanks for help starting to feel positive for once fingers crossed thanks for help