Have you ever used a pressure cooker? If you haven't, let me explain. A pressure cooker cooks food under pressure. Now, there is this little round thingy in the lid. That thingy is an emergency valve. This valve's function is to pop out when the pressure inside the pot gets too high. This prevents the pot from exploding, but it sure leaves a mess.
"Or if they see little facets I should 'forgive & move on' - 'it was all in the past', 'ahh but what a difficult time your mother had'."
Un... huh. I've been there. That is called minimising.
In the dynamic of your family, you have been like the pressure valve in the pressure cooker. You see, if your family minimises your pain, and the resulting trauma that you have to deal with, then they don't have to bother either with you, or the person who is causing the trauma. Their lives go on, the empty shell that passes for a family is left intact, and everybody gets to pretend that everything is fine.
You, however, are not fine. Whenever the pressure builds, you are the one left washing the tomato sauce off the walls and ceiling. You are not fine at all, but nobody cares.
Congratulations. You are free. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Don't ever let them drag you back, or guilt you into into returning to serve in the family dynamic, moaning, 'But she's your mother.... But he's your father'. Don't fall for that ploy.
Consider that you may have PTSD. If so, a bit of counselling will be in order.
Good luck, and best wishes.