miserable

[jhil566]

had my second baby, first with DP 4 weeks ago .
I'm absolutely miserable , can feel PND creeping up, barely sleeping, I do EVERYTHING for baby because DP works and that's enough for him to be getting on with apparently .
To be honest I've been miserable since Christmas Eve when I was just pregnant , I had horrendous sickness and DP couldn't handle picking up the slack , he told me to get an abortion when we argued .
Christmas day we argued and had an actual physical fight because of a magnet on my mum's fridge .
He spat in my face at 7 months pregnant .
He smokes weed from the minute he gets in from work .
I want him to go so bad but he says he will kick the door in if I lock him out and I'm scared that my neighbours will ring the police and social services will get involved .
Im only 25 and I can't believe my life is like this . I feel so trapped and don't know what to do

That's not even the worst of it. I'd be here all day

God, he sounds awful. Could you afford to live there without him? Could you go to your mum's?

He screamed in my face 2 days after I miscarried that I killed his baby and if I didn't get pregnant straight away hed tell everyone I forced a miscarriage and now here we are . I can't believe Ive allowed this to happen

Do you have somewhere else you can go to?

Could you go home to your Mums? if not I'd be talking to Womens Aid tomorrow and trying to formulate an exit plan.
If he gets threatening at any time just call the Police Op.

This is horrendous, if you can leave and. Go home to your parents do so, if not you need to speak to Women's Aid and get some help about finishing this relationship and getting him out of your life. Poor you, you are too young to live your life with an abusive arsehole.

You need to leave as soon as safely possible. Can you ask someone in real life to help you? Call Women's Aid?

You need out. This is not a relationship and I know you know what a loving relationship/partnership looks like.... That is what you need and deserve - nothing less.
You have a child. You do not want your child growing up in such an abusive environment around a drug obsessed father. The weed is his life not you or your baby.
I know you are scared and it feels too big but this is what will make you stronger. It's not just about you anymore. There is light at the end of the tunnel I promise you! Call Women's Aid tomorrow. Tell close family and friends what's going on as you NEED real life support right now. You CAN do this. Don't think you can't x

If he can treat you like that, I am even more concerned about how he might treat your baby. He sounds like a lazy obnoxious stoner.

You need an exit plan for you and your baby, and fast. Where is your closest family that isn't him?

Hi jhil you need to speak to your health visitor/ midwife and let them know what’s going on. I would also see your GP as you do need a review of your mental health. Anyone would be depressed living with that piece of scum. He sounds dangerous. You should call women’s aid and seek a women’s refuge. I’m am sorry you are going through this. It is terrible. How old is your other child?🌺

I can't tell anyone what's going on I'm too ashamed . I left my eldest child's dad when I was pregnant because he used to batter me . I can't have anyone knowing I'm in this position AGAIN.
I'm starting to think that it's me and there must be something about me that makes men want to hurt me

Hi Theres nothing to be ashamed about theres a lot of really awful people about. Its not you its them. Please tell someone and make steps to leave this twat.

You think this way because you haven't yet got out of the situation and received help to process this. But please call Women's Aid to start the process of leaving. You are not the problem.

I’m going to say this in the kindest way I can. It possibly is you. But hear me out. Sometimes we have such a messed up sense of self worth that we choose people who are toxic without knowing what we are doing. There’s no shame in that. A lot of victims of dv have more than one abusive relationship. If the neighbours call ss and the police then good. You can tell them he’s an abusive twat badger who has been kicked out. Call women’s aid. Get help. You deserve to be happy.

And a lot of abusers target the previously abused because they can ride in like a white knight and save you- and you’ll be so grateful you will let shitty behaviour slide before it’s too late and your stuck in their shame spiral

Darling, get out before he kills you or your baby. Nothing else matters, but fyi, the person who the shame falls upon is him.

Tonight you walk away with your children and you don't look back. I know it's easier said than done but you need to get away from this rabid animal.

Call the police and get them to remove him. Social services won't look bad on you if you do that as you're acting appropriately to keep you and your child safe. They would only help you get away from him. It's no life for you and your child. They will grow up seeing this and living in fear

Are you ok OP?