Long Distance Relationships

[Confusedgal2018]

Hi all,

I am in a long distance relationship and have been for a year now. We don't live together and live a couple of hours via train away from each other.

It's now getting to the stage where I'm thinking when do we move in together?

I was just wondering if people would be willing to share their success/failure stories regarding their long term relationships. Did you find it difficult?

Thanks :-)

8 years, 3 hours apart, spend every weekend with each other, but we're happy in our jobs, and I like my own space in the week!

We lived 2.5hrs drive apart. Spent every single weekend together & often nights in the week where he'd get up at 5 to get to work for 8!

I moved to him after a year. That was 2 years ago. We got married this summer

We lived on opposite sides of the world (11 hour flight and 8 hour time difference) for 2 years. We were together in the same place for the first 9 months and then both had to move back home (we met working abroad). It was hard, but made easier because we knew from the start that the goal was to move and be together. It just took a couple years due to pre-existing professional commitments and immigration issues.

We’ve been married 7 years now and have 2 dc and it was very worth putting up with the distance in the early years. If you’re only a few hours apart, what about a trial of living together to see how it goes? I used to commute 3 hours to work, and it really is doable in the short term if you have to do it.

Different continents for two years. Ultimately after one failed attempt by DH to find a job on my continent, I told him shit or get off the pot. I wasn’t going to waste anymore time unless our relationship was going some place. We got engaged (no money for a ring though - funds went towards a deposit on a flat). One year later we married (registry office wedding as no money for anything more). Still married 28 years and three children.

DH probably would’ve been happy going on as we were as his trips were paid for by employer (business trips). But there comes a point in time that if you want a deeper relationship, there needs to be more. I was not going to give up everything without commitment of marriage and here we are, still going strong all these years later.

It is difficult because we haven’t experienced what living together would be like yet apart from the odd full weekend at mine. You know, the going to work and having tea together routine etc. It’s such a big commitment to make without trying it out first. With past relationships I’ve spend lots of evenings with them and knew what it would be like before moving in. I suppose you just have to go for it x

How do you decide who moves? My OH loves in London and I live in Cheshire. I love the countryside so much and can’t see myself in London unless we lived on the outskirts and travelled in. His job means he has to be in London and has very early starts at times (works in construction) He adores his career. I suppose there will come a point where one of us will have to move. We have discussed this and he says he’d like to move up to me and commute but the train fare would be a fortune! He never puts any pressure on me to move down there at all which I am pleased about. I’m interested to hear about how the decision was made to move to which hometown. Was the conversation difficult?

I think you just need to start talking. How did you meet? Do you have kids?

We met online and we have no children 👶