My discussion is about my (much) younger partner and I'm interested in other people's viewpoints.....
He pursued me on a (decent, subscription) dating website and even though I dismissed him initially he won me over with compliments & charm so eventually I agreed to meet him. He is 32 and I am 53..not only is it a big age gap but he’s also a different nationality. We fell for each other at the first meeting and have been inseparable since, even though I spent the first 6 months of the relationship feeling very insecure and questioning things. He has told me he understands the age gap is not ideal but everything else is perfect, and it genuinely doesn’t bother him. However I’m an overthinker and it has taken me a long time to accept it as I would hate to be seen as a silly older women who has lost her head.
We don’t actually look different in age as he looks older and people regularly think I’m early 40’s and I do keep my body in very good shape with weight training and gym etc, plus I have a very young outlook (sense of fun and immature!). We both work hard and are really enjoying life, but I still have it going round in my head about the future, but as people point out to me I could be with someone of my own age and it go wrong. I have two grown up children who have slowly accepted him and admit he treats me really well. He says he doesn’t think he wants children but my fear is that he will be with me five years then decide he wants a family…leaving me nearly 60 and alone. I haven't dared to discuss this with him which is ridiculous as I can talk to him about anything. He's very honest and if he was to say that he may want children in the future then it would shatter me.
We decided to live together recently after nine months together and both gave notice on our current rentals and now rent a little house together, and everything is good, he is kind, hardworking, practical in the house and garden and a great chef and very affectionate. We make each other laugh a lot. He has taken me back to his home country to meet friends and family which was amazing and no-one has questioned the age gap but embraced me fully, he says they are pleased to see him happy.
I have experienced a few raised eyebrows and people who say they are ‘worried about me’ (they haven’t met him yet) but the few that have met him have nothing but good to say. He says if I was his age I wouldn’t have given him a second glance (without sounding conceited I guess he’s ‘punching’), but I love him deeply. Plus I worry about him watching me age and feel that pressure a little but he tells me I'm beautiful which is lovely to hear, although he doesn't compliment me daily - any compliments are hard won!
He treats me better than any guy my own age/nationality has in the past. A couple of people have implied he might be looking for marriage to ‘stay in the Country’ but I find that hard to believe, and now his country is part of the EU surely that couldn’t happen? He’s been working and paying tax for a couple of years now at least.
I’d be interested to hear any views/experiences.
Thanks!