Ariana Grande and Twitter/Insta trolls following Mac Miller's Death

[DancingForTheDog]

I'm in my mid 50's and not exactly 'down with the kids', so only had a passing knowledge of Ariana Grande and had never heard of Mac Miller! Just listening to Radio 5live (Nihal), and they are talking about the pressure put on (mainly) women to stay in toxic relationships, and the accusations that if you leave and something bad happens to him then; "You did this to him". They're using the recent example of Ariana Grande who left a toxic/abusive relationship with Mac Miller and has been targeted and received death threats on twitter and Instagram since his death from an overdose. I'm open mouthed at the the blatant misogyny these kind of accusations display. So these men have no responsibility for their own lives and their own wellbeing. Women should sacrifice their lives at the altar of these men?

They also mentioned this article www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/mac-miller-death-ariana-grande-mac-miller-social-media-721843/
which may be informative or useful for someone reading this.

Women have always been the scapegoats for all of societies ills, so I can't say I'm surprised at what Ariana Grande is going through, but I just find it so thoroughly depressing.

I'm shocked that no one else has responded to your message. In fact, I joined Mumsnet in order to respond because at some point in her life every woman on this forum will become the target of the misogynistic toxic blame that you describe.

At the moment something similar is happening with Meghan Markle. Now I'm not a fan. I have no opinion of the woman. I never saw Suits, and had no idea who she was until she and Harry got involved. From what I've read I can find nothing to criticise.

What has shocked and infuriated me hasn't been her family's abusive behaviour, but the willingness of so many ordinary people to believe their outrageous claims and excessive demands. Her father, step-sister, and step-brother have been caught telling lie after lie, even contradicting previous claims they have made. Despite this, many thousands of people continue to believe everything they say, and then attack the poor woman for not taking care of her father. The women who were sending in the comments were more hostile and demanding than the men.

Thomas Markle is 74, ambulatory, and not suffering from dementia, apparently. He has a declared a monthly income of $4,200. Why should a man who has a history of gambling, spending thousands on lottery tickets, and losing money by investing in get-rich-quick schemes expect his daughter to bail him out?

The man can take care of himself. If he chooses not to, he has no one to blame but himself when his health fails.

I'm disgusted that women still are expected to cave in to bullying, bullying that is excused by people who witter on about 'forgiveness' excusing bad behaviour with claims that the person made a 'mistake'.

I find myself wondering how many of the people who criticise Ariana Grande and Meghan Markle will go on to scapegoat their own sisters and daughters.

agreed - it is absolutely abhorrent that women have to be gatekeepers for men's actions in this way.

such terrible pressure - and we see on on MN when women post that they can't leave their abusers because he has said he would kill himself if she left or similar.

I don't know anything about Meghan M so can't comment really on that, but my DCs are fans of both Ariana and Mac Miller so this resonated with me

Ariana sounds intelligent & like she knows her self-worth. She has articulated clearly.

It was the same with that rapper that was killed recently, XXXTentacion. He beat the shit out of his pregnant girlfriend and strangled her and she got so much abuse off his fans. He was an utter scumbag. I'm glad he's dead.

Sorry Daily Mail link

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5863891/XXXTentacions-ex-girlfriend-run-vigil-angry-fans.html

Ariana is incredible - she has been through so much & is taking the right approach here. No relationship is worth staying in when it's like that & it's absolutely not her responsibility that her ex boyfriend's substance abuse killed him.

They both wished each other well after the breakup so it's awful to see fans being their own vigilantes

I agree with the OP

They are using the excuse that she cheated on him - no evidence of that, although she quickly got into another relationship - as another stick to beat her with

The MM situation astounds me, although in reality it doesn’t. I have a similar father. No matter how he behaves I am expected to be grateful for having him in my life, disregard any past issues and be his daughter the way he wants me to. I am similar to MM that I do not give him what he demands/wants and I do admire her for her decision to stay away from them.

I thought the tweet she sent that twitter user after their break up was so dignified and intelligent, and I think she educated a lot of people there. She seems like she has her head screwed on.

Bloody hell AG has been through the mill recently hasn't she, but she has responded with maturity, compassion and composure each time.

Can't say I'm a fan of her music (although no tears left to cry is brilliant pop) but I really do have a lot of respect for her.

The pressure put on women to be "saviours" and sacrifice themselves for these damaged men is sickeningly misogynistic, and conforms to the age old expectation of female expendability.

Very interesting observations, and thought provoking to conmpare this with the MM situation. I wonder if there was a 'gender swap' and a man dumped a woman with substance abuse issues then quickly moved into a new relationship what the public reaction would be... possibly similar, but I'm more inclined to think that it would validate the man's decision to leave and brand the woman as a 'crazy b##' or similar!

The Rolling Stone article is a good summary, hopefully AG's response will get people thinking. Good response, I thought, and I hadn't been aware of this story at all-- I hope the negativity towards her has calmed now.

Just to give a little positivity, there was a large social media presence supporting exactly what all of you are saying about Ariana. Alot of it from her young female fanbase.

Social media works both ways in this instance and there are young girls waking up to the bullshit that their mothers and grandmothers have had to put up with.