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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help

25 replies

Lifewife · 11/09/2018 10:43

i had to send you something and ask for your truth and honest opinion and honestly some HELP ( yes help in capital was delibertely done )
Ps this is a fake email i had to hide my identity and who i am please understand why i had to do that and thanks for reading and maybe replying im sure you get hundreads if not thousands of emails
Ps names locations have been changed to protect the identity of my self and the individuals this is a true story but feels like a nightmare if not a mid fairy tale
Well my story starts nearly (lets say many many years ago5plus)
Asain wedding
The sister in law( to be ) and me well where sitting on a bed i had a headace my head was on her lap and she was massaging it . Felt very nice smoothing and relaxing well thats not the point . What happened next is what amazed me and shocked me she kissed me on my forehead and i liked it and wanted more so i said kiss me again and she did i was shocked than i said on the cheeks and she went no u kiss me so i got up and kisses her on the forehead and cheeks and we well french kissed . Was my first time kissing a women( i mean we where both teenagers) and for her as well . Well we heard a noise and stopped i rememeber later on that day taking her to the kitcken and doing it all again . Kissing her forehead cheeks than french kissing her . It felt amazing truly amazing i used to smack her bum and steal a kiss anytime i could . At nights we all use to share the same room. About 8 people to one room of not 10 . I would go out when everyone sleep and take her with me and sit her on my lap and kiss her . We would steal anymoment together we would go to her house send her brothers to the farest shop possible and be alone kiss on the bed . It was passion it was lust it was wow fantastic . When i would be a sleep she use to say i wish i could have kisses you whilist you where a sleep i use to say you should have .I said to her marry me she turned around and said she would but its too late her sister and me where getting married and our names and cards and stuff had been done for us to get married . That broke my heart . She didnt want to break what had already been planned but i wanted her . More than anything else . So i went with it and married her sister . We had a few moments on our own but nothing happened . A few times i tried to recreate the same situation even when i was married trying to get a head massage with my head on her lap but nothing . I was once in bed kissing my wife and i saw her walk in i saw her but just ignored her . A few years later we went back to see my sister in law and her family and once again everyone was sleeping in the same room i was across the room and i blew her a kiss she looked at me and just closed her eyes and tried to go to sleep like nothing happenes i rememeber bringing her up on what had happened a few years ago but she acted like nothing had happened. 2 years ago i saw her and first thing she said when she saw the whole family was my name she just shouted it and i felt some warmth feeling like wow
Than again nothing happened
She recently was getting engaged but nothing happened of it i was happy but it would have meant she would have been a lot closer and in the same country but it didnt happen now she is officially engaged and preprations are taking place to get married . 9 months time ( like pregrancy ) i have 9 months but nothing will happen

Ive dreamnt about her many times . Even when i make love to my wife its like me making love to my sister in law .
My wife has a zero sex drive and well my sister in law even though we never had sex you could tell it was a high energy
Last night i dreamnt about her in her wedding dress and me french kissing her me and her alone no one else in the room .

Now you ask me if i leave my wife i can have my sister in law . NO because its an asain wedding as i said and her house/family would not accept it .
My ideal plan would be to run away with her but that wont happen either

Ideal real life sceniro would be to marry my sister in law with everyones blessing that would mean my prayers and wishes have come true that what i want and need but aint happening any help and advice please thanks in advance and aplogise for the spelling mistakes
Ps what i wouldnt mind happening is going to see my sister in law ask her all these questions and ideally get her pregrant

Can anyone please help me would be very greatfull this is nightmare

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 11/09/2018 11:20

"Ps what i wouldnt mind happening is going to see my sister in law ask her all these questions and ideally get her pregrant"

You're taking the piss right?

Doyoumind · 11/09/2018 11:24
Confused
Lifewife · 11/09/2018 11:25

No . I just love her she was my first kiss . Ive had feelings for her for as long as i can rememeber and i just want her she more like me than my wife would ever be . She makes me smile laugh and making her pregrant would end her engagement and she would be mine ok its not right but thats why im asking for HELP mentally im upset i cry remembering her i just dont know what to do i wish this didnt happen to me please someone help me im so confused

OP posts:
Justanotherfool · 11/09/2018 11:30

I feel so sad for your wife

Lifewife · 11/09/2018 11:32

Justanotherfool

From her point i agree but on paper she has my heart but on my heart heart i have my sister in laws name
I cant do nothing ny hands are tied i need help i agree but i just dont know what to do

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 11/09/2018 11:36

Leave your wife and forget about your SIL. HTH.

BunsOfAnarchy · 11/09/2018 11:39

I dont even know where to start but you are horrifically deluded. You need to get over it. Seriously. Before you ruin A LOT of lives.
She has clearly moved on. She also sounds like she is now embarrassed of her behaviour towards you.
Stop trying to recreate something with someone who has grown up and realised she doesn't want to fuck up her own sisters marriage and her own name.
Boy do i feel so so sorry for your wife.

Lifewife · 11/09/2018 11:40

Do you mind
What does HTH
I cant leave my wife and i cant also stop thinking about my sister in law . Ideally i want my sister in law . Thats what i would want but if i leave my wife i would never get my sister in law i be left alone . Because she wouldnt break her sisters engagement and get her married to me
But yet i want my sister in law

OP posts:
Musti · 11/09/2018 11:41

Leave your wife and forget about your sil. You have no experience or opportunities to meet with other women. Plenty of women out there.

Lifewife · 11/09/2018 11:42

Bunsofarchary

That hit me hard
Wife dont know what happened
But its true could be a moment to move on . But deep down inside me i still feel for her

OP posts:
explodingkitten · 11/09/2018 11:43

If you love someone you want them to be happy. You're only thinking of yourself here and don't give a fuck about your SIL. She's marryibg someone else. Be happy for her.

Lifewife · 11/09/2018 11:44

Musti

Plenty of women i dont want anyone else

I keep my wife but would want my sister in law
Or nothing else not intresred in anyone else

OP posts:
Lifewife · 11/09/2018 11:46

Exploding kitten

Her marriage like in an asain culture is also arranged
She has never talkes to him before just seen a picture . Parents both sides have said yes . She is going into a dark tunnel with just a candle metophor
But if she was with me it would be different i know what she likes and does not liles how to make her smile and laugh

OP posts:
BunsOfAnarchy · 11/09/2018 11:49

Leave your wife. She deserves a much much better than a guy lusting after her sister.

NotTheFordType · 11/09/2018 11:51

Who did you send this to originally, Dear Deirdre? Or was it Jackie, the magazine for teenage girls? Because that's what this is, a stupid teenage crush. She's grown up, you apparently haven't.

NotTheFordType · 11/09/2018 11:52

I somehow feel that if you were Asian, you'd know how to spell "Asian".

Sunflowerr · 11/09/2018 11:53

Oh dear. Get a grip. She's not interested anymore put it all behind you. Either stay with your wife and be 100% dedicated to her, or leave her.

You could always try this at your sister in law's wedding:

Lifewife · 11/09/2018 11:53

Bunsofarchary
I do agree she deserves someone 100 million billion times better than me but i wish i hadnt married my wife i wish my parents hadnt forced me into this and also woshes my sistet in law had said yes to me back than

OP posts:
Lifewife · 11/09/2018 11:55

Notforthefordtype
I really cant spell that aint the point but thanks
I didnt i sent it someone one online

OP posts:
Doingreat · 11/09/2018 12:02

How old are you?

Lifewife · 11/09/2018 12:20

Doing great lets say 25plus

OP posts:
Doingreat · 11/09/2018 12:29

You're obsessing over a teenage crush. You believe if you had married your sis in law you would have had the perfect life. That's a fantasy. There's absolutely no guarantee this would have been true. You may have made each other miserable. Or got bored of each other. You need to get help with your obsessive thoughts about her. This is not a healthy way to live.

Ariela · 11/09/2018 12:36

Is it still school holidays?

Lifewife · 11/09/2018 12:47

Doing great

I do agree i do need help i cry when i think about her

Ariela

School and work is back in motion nice advice would be appreciated thank you

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 11/09/2018 13:55

You are a dick

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