Confused about everything.. advice :(

[adorbflowers]

So basically it’s a long story but I’ll cut it short..

I’ve been with my current boyfriend for 4 years, we’ve gone through some bumps in the roads but we’ve manage to get through them. The only thing I don’t like is the constant bickering which every couple goes through and also I feel like I’m not a priority and feel like I don’t get much attention from him at all. I really love him, but I can’t help having feelings for someone else. I’d never cheat as I don’t agree with cheating. So basically a year ago I met a boy online and we became best friends, however at the time he was also in a relationship... after a while he and his girlfriend spilt up.. I was the “shoulder” to cry on for him... he lives miles and miles away from me like half way across the country so the only communication we had was over a games console and social media. My boyfriend never had a problem with me speaking with him as he knew I was his.. however after a while I found out that this boy I made best friends with online had developed feelings from me and that’s where I started to get feelings... after that I blocked him off everything and didn’t message him for over a year... I never told my boyfriend as I knew i love him and I’m completely devoted to him and done my best to lose this attraction for this other boy...

I’ve read that having a crush/window shopping’s fine like but then this boy have managed to find a way to contact me after a year, but he’s now with a new girl and he’s obviously moved on and so have i! I’m happy that he’s happy and can finally be with someone without getting heartbroken over me... the only thing is when we’ve been chatting we get in so well like a house on fire too... the only thing is these feelings have come back and now I’m jealous that he’s got a new girlfriend...

It’s making me feel so crap and down because at the end of the day I see a future with my boyfriend and I have never loved someone as much as I love him, but this crush on this other boy, the jealousy I have that he’s with someone new is not nice because I do have this stupid girly crush on him and I’m so fed up.....

I feel like I haven’t got anyone trustworthy to speak to about this so this is why I’m posting this here.. any advice would be really grateful💔

But you never spent any time with him in person? Honestly, people can be so different online than on real life.

Tell me what you love about your boyfriend

How can you have feelings for someone you have never met in real life...you are having feelings for his written words, but in reality there may be no spark..

Don't risk your relationship with your boyfriend over something that is not real (you are jealous of a guy you have never met having a girlfriend, even though you have a boyfriend yourself)...you need to take a step back from this online friendship , let the guy have a chance with his real world girlfriend and you have a chance with your boyfriend

A "boy"? How old are you?

Why are you speaking to a child on social media? Gross.

@WombOfOnesOwn & @NotTheFordType we are all between the ages of 19-22, so not children.. just young. Sorry for my choice of words.

@Musti I love spending time with him and being around him, I love his personality, he makes me laugh he’s kind and caring and he treats me so nice.

@LoveAGoodChat yeah I understand, it is just the written words, I agree. I think it’s more of the case that maybe I need to work on my relationship with my partner, maybe there’s something we need to address and work on. I’ve had time to also think and reflect and actually talk to someone in person and I feel as though it’s more of the case that I’m jealous of the friendship, rather than in a relationship way.

You've ever met this person. You're unhappy in your relationship so you are daydreaming over him, projecting feelings into him.

Why don't you leave your partner if you aren't happy? Look up "the sunken costs fallacy" online.

You don't love your man THAT much if you're dreaming about a "Mr Perfect" you've never even met. So presumably your life can go on without him. Your relationship doesn't even sound good. You're young, and you constantly bicker.

If you want to stay with a man no matter what then you're creating your own misery. Hopefully in the long run you'll work out what's best for you.

You've never met him, you have no idea what he is really like. And you are very young. I'd suggest you have grown out of your current relationship, most people do at your age. Why not try being single and fancy free for a while? I think you would enjoy it.

The only thing I don’t like is the constant bickering which every couple goes through

Really? My last relationship was 11 years and while it should have finished long before, even then there was no arguing. We never shouted at each other once or had any constant bickering. Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with constant bickering? Seems pointless to me.

Yeah I wouldn’t say constant bickering is normal

as he knew I was his
WTF!?
You are not anybody's property.
This is an odd thing to say and makes me think your DP is controlling.
He may not be but this is a big red flag for me.
You are YOU. Your own person. You do not belong to anybody else. Please get that straight in your head.

And constant bickering is NOT normal!!!
What do you 'bicker' about?