Want that dating buzz but it's too soon

[truth4568]

I'm three months into a new life as a single mum of two. Separated and about to start divorce proceedings. Is it odd that I get regular pangs for the buzz of dating? It's definitely too soon, so much baggage to deal with, I'm breastfeeding my baby who is under 6 months and I have little libido as a result and not planning to leave the baby much until he is weaned. How do I satisfy that need for a buzz?

I think as long as you are upfront with dates that ur life is a bit complicated right now I don't see why u can't date and have some fun?

I am currently pregnant with 3rd kid, with 2 toddlers and 2 months since their dad left us. I have started dating and chatting to people online, I am honest and upfront with everyone. I am not in a mindset for a serious relationship, as still have feelings for ex. I tell them I am not looking for just a quick shag or whatever but at the same tim e not looking for the one. People have generally open minded and I have had a few fun dates. It has certainly helped me start moving on from my ex, boost my self esteem, and made me realise that just because he left doesn't mean that I will be alone forever, there is plenty of people out there that are interested in me.

Just relax, go on some dates and have fun

way too soon imo. I couldnt date if I HAd a tiny baby. My dd is 16 months and I still dont feel ready. But then im generally amazed at how quick some people start dating.

I don't think I actually want to meet someone in real life, i can't imagine being touched by someone else whilst I'm still breastfeeding. I think I just want that thrill of messages but it's unfair to message people if you have no intention of meeting. Probably just a sign that I miss the attention of someone I guess.

How long have you been single Creeper8?

Was single in my pregnancy so around 2 years. Bf aswell, wou

posted too soon, wouldnt date till shes atleast 3

I'm.similar OP. Hadn't thought of it as needing a buzz but would be nice to have someone to chat to, exchange messages. I'm coming up to a year single now, with a 1 yr old and 3 yr old so can't imagine actually having a relationship.

It's a very strange time to be single, isn't it? My baby and toddler need so much from me, there's very little left for myself, let alone someone else. And their hugs are enough for the moment but it's sad to think how long it will be till I have enough time for someone else. Maybe once they're in school. And I'm surrounded by lots of loved up (or so it seems) other mums with their family units, enjoying maternity leave and worrying about minor things, so surreal.

@Azadewow you're pulling our legs surely?

Blimey, it is much too soon.

I do understand about wanting a buzz though, and having that connection with someone else. It's a bit of excitement really, isn't it? Thing is, it honestly doesn't have much substance, unless you actually meet. And yeah, it would be slightly disingenuous if you had no intention of doing so

The biggest risk with dating too early us that you are emotionally needy and that becomes obvious to some men.

It takes time to get used to being single but it is worth going through the painful times as it leads to healing. Dating can be a plaster which feels reassuring but doesn't allow you to truly move on.

Embrace your singledom and you will find contentment.

I dont even get how people fit the time in tbh im too blooming tired but then my ex is absent so maybe other people do it when their ex has the kids?? I get feeling lonely as obviously most people witn young children are in relationships but I wouldnt really want to bring anyone into my childrens life right now.

I agree lifebegins50 , the basis of a good relationship is for each person to be strong and happy in themselves and not be looking for their partner to provide that.

I wouldn't want to bring anybody else into my children's life for a long time but the idea of being on my own in the medium to long term is hard to get used to. I thought I was married to my soulmate and now I have no idea what the future holds.

As for the buzz, I think I might try an addictive game like candy crush

Creeper8 I don't know how much my ex will be involved. He's very dedicated to the kids but he has lots of problems and the police are involved. In some ways I don't want him in our lives, in others I can't see how I can ever get some time back for myself if he doesn't do his share of parenting.

Yes Dieu I just want that excitement really!