New guy and FWB

[Longandwingingroad]

Hoping for a bit of advice from the wise ladies on mumsnet. I'm seeing a guy and we are going on a fourth date later this week. He seems really keen and I like him so happy to see how things progress. A while a go I agreed to go on holiday with my FWB, he lives in another Country and we are meeting half way. We have both spent quite a bit of money organising it. We have lots of exciting things planned and I'm looking forward to it. I mentioned I was going on holiday with a friend and he has assumed it's female and says what a good time I will have etc. I don't know if I need to put him straight we haven't said we are exclusive and it's only the fourth time we will have met. Just for context if my FWB hadn't moved to the other side of the world we would likely be in a relationship. Do I need to tell him or wait until (or if) we have the exclusivity chat?

It matters little what others think with this situation, you have to take it right down to the wire and then decide what feels right by you.

I would be straight with him but miss out the FWB part. Just say that your friend is a male and it was booked ages ago.
Technically its none of his business but if this relationship ends up getting serious, and he finds out, he might not appreciate the lies.

How would you feel if he was going away with a fwb and let you believe the friend was a man?

Then it turned out that it was someone he would be in a relationship with, in an ideal world?

You've only been on 3 dates. I wouldn't say anything to be honest.

As Thatsfuckingshit puts it.
Do as you’d want to be done by. I think you should at least correct his assumption that it’s a woman.

Imo it’s none of his business unless you’ve already had the exclusivity chat.

Be honest with him. Have you dtd yet?

You do run the risk of him saying thanks but no thanks but at least you havent decieved him.

Yes you need to say. This isn't just a friend, it's someone you have sex with, and probably will have sex with on the holiday. I doubt you'd be happy with it the other way round.

Sounds like your FWB is actually your ‘first choice’. I think if you want to be in a relationship with your FWB then be in that relationship, not with someone else. There is a risk that anyone else will be second best and that isn’t really fair is it?

If you were really that keen on the guy your dating would you be wanting a fwb?
Im sure you wouldn't be happy if he was going away with a female he was sleeping with!

Agree with previous posters. I think I would be pretty upset if a guy I was dating was going off on holiday with a FWB.

If your heart isn’t in your new relationship then let it go.