So confused

[lonelymummy88]

Broke up with cheating exh at start of year have been ‘seeing’ a guy for a few months and I can already see that it will go nowhere and really for him it’s about the sex but I can’t stop trying to please him.

I am so lonely why do I have to go for this type I know I have to break it off but the thought makes me
So sad and I knew how needy I sound I hate myself for it

It’s about your self esteem! I’ve been there and doubted my own existence .

It sounds like your not ready to have a relationship. You need to think of (and practice) yourself as being happy without a partner.

I made the mistake of rushing into another relationship after my long term one ended. 7 months later in ended in tears. You need to take a break from men.
I actually started some counselling (I'm lucky enough to get it free through work) and although I've only had 1 sessions so far, I can already see some of the behaviours that I can try to change.
Maybe its worth you trying counselling so you can start being happy in yourself.

I can’t afford counselling. My gut feeling is that this new guy lies to me but I have no proof at all. He isn’t a nice person but I jump every time he clicks his
Fingers and I hate myself for it

Don't answer the phone to him.
Tell him it is over.
Time to learn to love yourself.

At least you are acknowledging that he's not good enough for you. That's the first step. I think you may find a sense of achievement if you take control and tell him to do one. He's taking the pi** and you know it - why do you think you deserve that?
Just bite the bullet, message him to tell him he's dumped then block. Yes you might feel sad/shit for a while but eventually your self esteem will build from this.