Is this PTSD or normal after leaving an EA relationship?

[Squidgee]

I left stbExH just over a year ago.
It was a difficult relationship, but he was emotionally abusive.. shouting, threatening, name calling, sexual harassment...etc

He denies ever being any of those things and thinks his behaviour was perfectly reasonable, but even our mutual best friend is frightened of telling him anything because 'he'll go off on one' at her... its just the person he is.

Anyway, after we broke up, he was stalking me on social media.

He made my life hell and I was a nervous wreck. Any wrong move I made (trying to keep it amicable for the kids sake) I would get msg after msg telling me what a horrible person I was and how I ruined his life and just making me out to be the bad person.

Its been calm, mostly, for the past 3 or 4 months, but I still feel stalked. I still feel like I have to hide from him to keep him out of my 'safe spaces' online because if he finds them, I can't ban him or I'm going to get yelled at and if anyone lets slip about them where he might see it I end up having a massive anxiety attack.

I still feel like a nervous wreck, I still feel scared of him and what he'll do, I just want to get on with my life, but I feel like he wont let me go.

I dont know what to do, if this anxiety is normal or if I ought to get help.. I just know i'm miserable and I want to enjoy my life, and I can't.

Have you been to your GP or self referred for counselling?

You've been through a terrible time, but it's not helpful to self/ internet diagnose mental illness.

I'd say so, yes. I was diagnosed with PTSD three years after my marriage ended, following a brutal divorce. Whether or not you have a diagnosis, it's worth you getting a new perspective through counselling/anti-anxiety activities to recover your self-esteem and reclaim your sense of equilibrium.

I have found there comes a period of great soul recovery, and it's by no means a smooth sailing one. I theorised that when you are emotionally abused and manipulated, over time you spend so long trying to manage the other persons behaviour and shape yourself into the 'right' person, that parts of you become lost. When the relationship finally comes to an end, that weight you expected to lift actually doesn't - the space created is like white noise and can feel deafening as you start to come to terms with your experience. I am now three months post leaving an EA relationship with sexual coercion, and starting to recover myself through excellent support from friends and I am also working on family relationships he tried to destroy. Other practical things I enjoy as recovery tools include reading, lovely new bedcovers and nice hot baths.