Which and how many of these for a deal breaker?

[mikado1]

1. Zero sex life, one wants it the other doesn't (and could go without)
2. Little to no decent conversation (young kids and discussion is generally about organizing them)
3. Mismatched parenting based on own childhoods largely

Would one of these spell the end for you or more than one? This is situation largely for 3 years.

Yeah any or all of those things could end a relationship

It doesn't really matter whether I would break up with someone though. What matters is what you think, you don't sound very happy

I think after three years I'd look to start putting some work in to repair things and make the decision from there. Dh and I largely chat about the boys but they're 7m and 20m so it's no surprise really

All of them would be deal breakers but what do you think?.

You've already had three years of this and have you finally had enough now?.

What do you get out of this relationship now?. What keeps you still within such a situation?.

What do you want to teach your children about relationships and what are they learning here about these from the two of you?. Is this really the model you want to be showing them, that yes this is how people treat each other in relationships?. Its not good enough for your kids and its not good enough for you either.

Well, that's it, it suddenly feels like despite explaining my views and asking for change, admittedly not changing much myself, it feels like I've had enough and these issues have killed things. We weren't perfect before kids and the change highlighted our differences I suppose. I suppose we should try to fix things first but last week, following what I thought was a proper understanding re parenting, there was another blow up, I just thought it's not going to change.

1. Would depend who didn't want it and why
2. Not necessarily a deal breaker depending on the rest of life
3. This would surely still be an issue if you split and needs to be ironed out otherwise kids will end up confused

It's the overall picture and how you feel about it that matters!

Isn’t it up to you and your partner to decide if they’re deal breakers?

1 & 2 are concerning. It sounds like the spark that glues a relationship together has gone How old are the children?

Can there be compromises on any of the points?

Tbh when I look at them I just see how different we are, in three important ways. Yes there's compromise needed but unfortunately we've both gone to extremes and become opponents almost.

On the sex life, I am resentful of him sulking when I want up for it in the first few months after dc1 and while I have made him see he was wrong, the damage was done. Similarly with the blow ups at the DC, he agrees with me and does best and then explodes again. Maybe I'm being harsh and unrealistic but I find it depressing. It's like he thinks the 6yo is his equal and takes any cheek so personally!

Yes it's up to me but I'm afraid I'm not great at boundaries and secondly this has become normal so an outside view is useful.

He sounds like a terrible father

It's probably 70/30 low tide but definitely not a barrel of laughs for the 70.. my friend thinks I'm calm and not everyone's like that..