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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to handle this?

4 replies

HettieBettie · 09/09/2018 18:42

We’ve had a bit of a crap time at the min.

I have two dds.

Older Dd got tonsillitis two weeks ago and has got it again this week. (She’s due to have them out but gets very, very poorly bless her)

The baby has had diarrhoea for a week three weeks ago turned out it was a throat infection ( they won’t say tonsillitis yet!) she has also got this again since weds we went to the walk in yesterday and they confirmed and sent us home with meds.

So the reason his is in relationships is: we’ve had no sleep for about a month or so now. Which is just part of parenting. I also returned to a highly stressful job after mat leave. DH ( and he really is normally D) works from home.

Recently though. He’s tired. He’s started throwing things in temper. It shuts me down. I panic and do whatever he needs me to. Things he throws are like my phone or a cup of tea or whatever is in his hand. I think he’s just frustrated.

It scares me Though if I’m honest. Only in the moment and then it’s done and it’s all ok. I haven’t told him this as usually he’s a gentle giant. This isn’t me saying he’s abusive just needing to know how to stop it before it gets worse.

Sorry long post. I just need to know how to handle this without causing myself any trouble.

OP posts:
Ginger153 · 09/09/2018 19:08

I don’t have kids so can’t imagine how tired you must be. However, my DP once threw a cup of coffee in frustration. I told him to leave there and then and didn’t let him back until it was clear he understood the line he had crossed. Now, if he gets wound up about anything he knows we can’t proceed until he’s calm again and takes himself for a drive or something. He knows if he ever does it again there will be no relationship to come back to. Draw a line, make the consequences clear and be strong. Talk to him when he’s less stressed out about how much it scares you. He will probably be horrified at his own behaviour. Good luck x

Maelstrop · 09/09/2018 20:15

Throwing items is absolutely not on. I’d have the rage with him and absolutely not on. Have you told him to stop? You can’t have him doing this when the baby grows and understands. His reactions are poor, he needs to control himself.

lowtide · 09/09/2018 20:41

There’s no stopping it getting worse
Have you actually spoken to him after the fact

HettieBettie · 09/09/2018 20:52

Tbh I’ve felt too tired to take him on and don’t want it to be worse.

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