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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

When an ex buys you flowers

22 replies

itsnotlight · 09/09/2018 09:32

Together for 2 years. I didn't want it to end. Didn't speak for 4ish months then he sends flowers on my Birthday.

I'm just curious!

OP posts:
CherryAide · 09/09/2018 09:38

Just ask 'why did you send me flowers'?

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 09/09/2018 09:39

Sounds like he is trying to win you back. What happened in the 4 months you split? Did he see someone else? Perhaps that hasn’t worked out and he now is regretting the choice he made. I think in your shoes and going from past experience, if he really loved you he wouldn’t have let you go in the first place . Find someone who is truly worthy of you op and happy birthday ! X

itsnotlight · 09/09/2018 09:40

that would be simplest wouldnt it!! hesitant to after spending so much time getting over it all...

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CandiedPeach · 09/09/2018 09:40

No children together?
I’d personally just take it as something nice, don’t read anything into it and just send a thanks for the flowers text.

Why did he end things?

chasinggarlic · 09/09/2018 09:42

Don’t contact him. That’s what he wants. He knows you didnt want t to end and he probably wants a shag. If he really wanted you back he would have spoken up. Flowers is a low way to get at someone.

itsnotlight · 09/09/2018 09:42

he wasn't seeing anyone else. im as sure as you can be about that as my brother lives net door to him. he was so adamant it had to end despite my upset over it and he is the sort of person to know i would read into a gesture like this. though equally he can be very cold and could easily have done this and just said he sent them as a friendly thing...

OP posts:
itsnotlight · 09/09/2018 09:43

it ended because he "needed to work on personal stuff" (he did to be fair), but i wanted us to stay together through that, he didnt.

OP posts:
FuckItPassMeTheWine · 09/09/2018 09:45

Based on what you’ve said. I wouldn’t contact him. He sounds like a head fuck.

RyderWhiteSwan · 09/09/2018 09:46

I wouldn't contact him, not even to say thank you. As a pp said, he could just be after a shag.

ElspethFlashman · 09/09/2018 09:47

It would be very foolish to contact him. You would look too eager to take the bait.

itsnotlight · 09/09/2018 09:50

definitely wouldnt shag him on the back of some flowers...

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HannahHut · 09/09/2018 09:55

Sounds like desparate housewives where Tom and Lynette broke up and she gets flowers from him on their anniversary.

Turns out he had a standing repeat order at the florist for years so he wouldn't forget!

I would say thanks by have no other contact.

Cloudyapples · 09/09/2018 09:59

He is probably trying to re engage contact ie even if you send a simple thank you text it then gives him a chance to start a convo. Seems a but controlling/messing with your head so I’d not send anything and leave well alone.

itsnotlight · 09/09/2018 10:02

why would he want contact though after making such a fuss about needing time and space and no relationship? i was the one who didnt want it to end, not him.

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itsnotlight · 09/09/2018 10:03

if he doesnt want us again, surely flowers arent sensible or fair thing to do

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Lichtie · 09/09/2018 10:05

I got flowers from an ex once, when I mentioned it to him next time I saw him he knew nothing about it. Turned out it was his PA who thought we were still together and had these things diarised... Ouch.

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 09/09/2018 10:09

It’s either what pp have said that he has it automated or he is trying to play games with you op. Maybe he genuinely feels that he wants you back but if he is the type of person to cut and run as soon as things get tough it’s highly likely he will do it again and drag you through the whole ordeal again. I’d take this as you have upper hand now , don’t contact him , feel smug and find a guy who has more moral fibre xx

HereIgoagainxx · 09/09/2018 10:11

You are all so harsh . He sent flowersFlowers

Where are your hearts? GrinGrin

chasinggarlic · 09/09/2018 10:13

Read your further posts OP. He has fucked with your head in one easy move. Don't contact him.

itsnotlight · 09/09/2018 21:59

i just dont get why someone would want to mess with someone's head?! especially when they ended it?

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itsnotlight · 09/09/2018 22:00

said thank you. and why send them.

he said why wouldnt i?

OP posts:
Musti · 09/09/2018 22:41

I'd put them straight in the bin and block him. Wanker

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