Hi, I really need somewhere to vent.
I was groomed when I was 14 by a man who lived with my mum and stepdad. He was careful not to have full blown sex with me until after I was 16, but we did other stuff sexually. It started when he used to come to collect me from my dad’s house with my mum and then started joining in on our phone calls. He soon started to call me when I was at home alone. He arranged to meet me after I turned 15 and kissed me in his car. This because a regular occurrence and progressed to other stuff. I enjoyed the attention at the time.
My parents were too busy caught up fighting each other to notice. My mum suffers with bipolar, so some of the time she would have been out of it.
The most hurtful thing she did was to give him my mobile number years later just after I had split from my first husband. She did this because the guy told her that he was still in love with me. My mum and I have had a strained relationship. We are currently going through a rocky patch, and over the last few weeks I have had horrible dreams about this man.
I feel dirty and ashamed about what I did. I wish I had been stronger. He wasn’t even attractive, so I have no idea why I let him do that kind of stuff to me.
I’m not sure what I think this will achieve really...