Things between my mum and me have been tricky for a couple of years. Have seen a counsellor which made some progress but still not back to where we were a few years ago (illness, changing family dynamic etc).
Trying to work it out. I've been doing some decorating over the summer and busting my gut to get it done. I'm good at DIY but trying to run a house, work and be a half competent single parent means it's dragged on. House in disarray etc.
She offered to come round to help me decorate. Great, thanks - get the job finished so then can get the house back together. So she spent 3 days drinking tea (requiring me to sit down with her) and almost zero gets done by me. I then spent a few days by myself laying the floor, putting furniture together, glossing woodwork etc. I'm knackered. I'm away over the weekend and come back to a duvet cover having been put on and pillows plumped and she's upset that I'm not falling over myself with thanks and praise at her contribution.
She also 'accidentally' washed the lime green cat blanket with the dark washing - uniforms, work clothes etc now covered in a million white hairs - and laughed that it would take ages to brush it all out, again upset that I wasn't demonstrably grateful she'd put some washing on.
I'm really struggling with boundaries at the moment after some pretty harsh comments have been made over the last few years, and part of me is screaming I wasted 3 days last week when I was hoping we could halve the decorating time, and now I've got upset kids whose uniforms are hairy because you 'accidentally' put the cat bed in the wash. I can't help feeling it's all a bit passive aggressive as she wants me to fail?
I would be incredibly grateful for her support, god knows I need some, but it feels like she's undermining all my efforts and purposefully hindering them?
God I sound like a spoilt greedy bitch - I'm really not, but it feels like her support has strings attached or a passive aggressive element which is making me doubt myself.