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Original poster

Other Money irritations

23 replies

lifesteeth · 08/06/2007 00:04

If you and your partner were saving for an impending holiday (3 months away) would you be annoyed if he bought an xbox to replace one that had recently broke just out of its guarantee period for £225?

OP posts:
Desiderata · 08/06/2007 00:05

I'd be fucking livid.

Twinklemegan · 08/06/2007 00:06

AngryAngry

wrinklytum · 08/06/2007 00:07

Yes.Must be a man thing.DP just bought an oh so essential gadget that he desperately needs for his guitar when we are quite skint at the mo....blardy men.

Original poster
lifesteeth · 08/06/2007 00:08

I don't know why I bother, I really don't.

OP posts:
Twinklemegan · 08/06/2007 00:09

They just don't think like we do. DH comes into some money and goes out and buys a bike, a laptop, a digital camera etc. Now I'm not saying it wasn't nice to get a laptop and a digital camera, but I would have paid off some credit card debt, for example.

hotchocscot · 08/06/2007 00:21

yeah i know, men and their gadgets. Hubby wants to buy a canoe (they cost LOADS!) in order to "get fitter". Get your old trainers on and get round the park i said. Face like flat lemonade for days, the twonk.

Original poster
lifesteeth · 08/06/2007 00:24

now he's saying "its my money and I'll spend it how I like" oh and he earnt more money at work this month which means he's justified in spending it on an xbox, he says "Im not going to put every penny I have on a holiday and then sit around for months watching a bank balance", the fact that he has loans, credit cards, a holiday to save up for and the fact that he's supposed to be helping himelf move out of his parents is forgotten

OP posts:
Original poster
lifesteeth · 08/06/2007 00:25

oh and now he's just told me that he gave his mates sister £20 for doing a sponcered sky dive...most people would give £5 max but now, he has to give £20

OP posts:
Twinklemegan · 08/06/2007 00:27

Are you sure he's not my DH too? I love him to bits, but he can be cr*p with money (he is getting better though since we had DS).

wrinklytum · 08/06/2007 00:28

I honestly do not understand men sometimes.I am the part time worker and am quite frugal in spending.I am lucky to have no debts,but dp has debts and spends money if he has it like water....I blame it on him being the spoilt youngest child and me being a responsible elder one

Original poster
lifesteeth · 08/06/2007 00:30

£20 for a sponcered sky dive though?? even I'm shocked at that one, especially at a time when we're supposed to be saving.
I know people say "thats just men for you" but I'm fuming.

OP posts:
UCM · 08/06/2007 00:32

I'm with Desiderata

wrinklytum · 08/06/2007 00:34

I think you are entitled to be fuming with him.I argue with dp over our diverse attitudes to finances more than anything else!!Nothing constructive to say but much empathy

Original poster
lifesteeth · 08/06/2007 00:35

you know it just pisses me off, I'm sat here with my two boys, I'm working everyday voluntary just so I can get into work, I'm studying with the OU, I'm trying so hard despite the odds being against us and he just takes the piss, he's living with his parents buying bloody xboxs and sponcering people for £20 a time whilst I'm sat here trying to shape my future, maybe I'm feeling a bit sensitive tonight, just heard a song that reminds me of my sons baby days and it upset me a bit but his attitude pisses me off, like I said to him anyone else that had extra money one month would put it towards the credit cards, the loan, moving out of his parents or god forbid the holiday but not him, he goes and does what my 8 year old would do...buy an xbox.

OP posts:
wrinklytum · 08/06/2007 00:41

Is there any way you can sit down and talk to him calmly about it all?

I REALLY sympathise as DP is doted on by his mother and I feel still has not properly grown up (he is 39).I moved away from home at 18,bought my first house at 25 and have always been pretty self sufficient but he is still tied to the apron strings and I have a bit of a nightmarish MIL in terms of her not being able to let go.He still behaves like a 19 year old at times and it is bloody frustrating when you are the one doing it all.Hugs

NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2007 06:22

Haven't we had a lot of threads about this bloke? (Does he accuse your eight-year-old of being 'gay'? Or have I got him confused?)

Honestly, everyone says 'he's useless, dump him', and then a few weeks later you start the same thread again. What's the point?

warthog · 08/06/2007 07:20

he doesn't want to go on holiday. or he thinks you'll pay for him.

warthog · 08/06/2007 07:20

and yes, i'm with nqc on this one. this guy isn't going to change. either accept him or dump him.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/06/2007 07:49

Your original message does not even begin to cover your woes re this man. Its the latest in a long line of threads re this manchild.

This is what I cannot work out with you lifesteeth. What is a seemingly intelligent woman doing an OU degree and with two children doing with an immature manchild and human sponge like this?. He is doing your head in and you at heart know this is going nowhere. So why do you prolong your own agony with him?. You originally wrote that you were going to try and finish this mess before September (the holiday).

I reckon that if you do go on holiday with him he will just sit around all day drinking and moan about your children being in the way.

You need to be completely honest with your own self - are you afraid of being on your own?. Is a poor relationship like this seriously better than no relationship at all?. He's done a bloody fine job of doing your sense of self worth in and that will need addressing. There is no fight left in you is there?.

Such men actually have very good radar for picking up vulnerable single parents like your good self and using them for their own ends (i.e having sex and being waited on hand and foot. Viz's term for such men is "cocklodger"). You are letting yourself be used like this - why?. He will not change - you cannot go on trying to rescue him or save him y'know. You already have two children - you do not need a third.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/06/2007 07:52

wrinklytum

I would warn you now that such men never change - they are too tied to Mum's apron strings and she will not let go. My BIL is 44 and still lives at home with no job and no prospects. His Mum is the same, she has made him dependent on her.

Carmenere · 08/06/2007 08:07

I would second what Atilla said and also want to make the point that he is not your dp, a partner is a partner, some one who is committed to you and shares you life, good and bad, this man just takes from you and doesn't deserve the title.

Popple · 08/06/2007 08:44

Ooh, he is REALLY annoying lifesteeth. Come on then, list the things you do actually like about him....he just seems to wind you up the whole time. This boy is never going to grow up. Am with theMeerkat on this one.

PS Well done on the job front...I was considering going the voluntary route but it looks like I may have got a little part-time something (YAY!) that will do whilst I complete my studies. Aren't you looking at social work or healthcare work or something?
Have you got an exam coming up in the next couple of weeks?

warthog · 08/06/2007 19:03

lifesteeth?

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