How do you stop a relationship from going down the pan?

[charliecat]

Recently split up from DP.
13 years.
At the beginning of the relationship he would nip to the shop for me "Oh you cant go by yourself in the dark" etc...and by the end it was..."Oh can you get me a beer at the shop even tho its 10pm"
Etc etc...
How do you stop a relationship from slipping down the pan like that?

I think (hope?) that if each partner is willing to do stuff for the other (errands, whatever) without bitching and without expecting gratitude or a return favour, then everyone can thrive in an environment of being kind to one another. I hope.

Yes, totally agree. He wouldnt make me a cup of coffee but was quite happy to eat the dinner id made him. [rant alert please ignore]

sorry to hear about your split Charliecat and hope you're ok.

I don't think there is a simple answer and sometimes its a hard fact that some relationships weren't meant to last as you both change. However I do think communicating and not letting things build up helps.

But don't pretend to know teh answers as have been there wondering why things go wrong with my previous DP

agree with notquitecockney -being kind and tolerant massively important.

Charliecat - sorry to hear about your split. I am divorced and know how hard it can be, though I am getting married again in 2 weeks (to DP of 10 years)

I once read that no one is really in love with a person, but in love with how that person makes them feel. I try to remember that, when he is peeing me off (very rare), and at other times too. I do love him and it is only fair that I make him feel the same way about me . I guess that we are quite lucky in that we complement each other in various ways. ALso - he was my toy boy when I found him so I have had time to train him up!

It's all about mutual respect & communication. Can you pinpoint a time when it started to go wrong? Can you think of anything that made him change? Or did you ever have doubts about him in the beginning?

am struggling here..
count your blesings?
i tried to think of good side, recently qute difficult

Just a gradual build up of shittyness with us.
And now hes gone, I realise we didnt talk much coz every conversation we have ends up in an arguement
How the hell it ended up like that I really dont know.

I'm a firm believer in not letting the sun go down on an argument but then we've only got 9years onthe clock .
I do recommend 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' though, lots of great tricks for manipulating each other in a nice way, get a used copy cheap on Ebay.