How to be a dignified ex?!

[twilightsaga]

Any advice from people who have had break up with children involved. My ex partner, father of dc is going round telling everybody I'm using my child as a weapon, writing about me all over social media, telling many lies about me whilst putting on crocodile tears to family and friends saying he wants to be a good dad but in reality he hasn't paid a penny towards dc never wants to see dc apart from a couple of hours here or there, dc comes home looking unkempt not looked after properly.

I am not the sort to go round discussing my business with everyone or put things on social media but I can't stand these lies and that people fall for them. All I want is an amicable co parent agreement. None of this drama it's just not me. Any ideas?

My advice will always be to take the moral high ground. Be dignified yourself, don't retaliate. People will see with their own eyes what is going on, and will give you credit for behaving like the adult. In shirt, do the right thing by your kids and don't escalate. Be the better person.

Difficult and challenging at times but worth it in the long run.

I have just kept quiet and held my tongue but it's so frustrating. He was emotionally abusive so I guess this is an extension of that

I found counselling really helpful. Gave me a place to be angry, upset and validate my feelings

I’ve also witnessed a friend’s awful break up which was a lot of screaming in the street type stuff. It remains a car crash to this day and it happened years ago. The children are suffering massively and it’s horrible. It feels like they haven’t moved on from day one. Neither have given way, the children aren’t even in the middle anymore because they’ve been split up too. 6 years of viciousness.

Losing control, retaliating, fighting back just gives them more ammunition. When they have nothing to fight you with, that’s when progress is made.

If you can contain it and be the better person, that’s the way forward. Be factual, stick to times, facts, figures. Park emotions when dealing with your XH. Put your children’s feelings first. Be kind to yourself. Do whatever you can to relax and recharge. If your DCs see you coping, they will cope. If they see you being reasonable they will appreciate it. (They will also notice when their dad is being a dick btw).