Not had sex with partner in 6 months!

[Emjayne96]

Hello. I had my second child 6 months ago and me and my partner haven’t had sex since before he was born!
At first it was due to exhaustion from running around after two kids all day but now I feel it’s got to the point where it may be really awkward because of how long it’s been and I don’t feel confident enough to initiate things.
He keeps telling me I need to go to the doctors for contraception but I’m putting it off as I suffer with anxiety and I know a lot of forms of contraception can mess with your hormones and I don’t want to make it worse!
Any advice?

Why can't he wear a condom?

He would do. It’s me that’s anxious about initiating anything because I’m scared it will be awkward.

I couldnt go that long. It was 2 weeks after my dd but obviously everyone is different. How were things before pregnancy?

With my first we only waited 3 weeks but we hadn’t really been together that long (got pregnant very quick). Things where ok before pregnancy but just before birth he went through a bit of depression as his mum died suddenly in January and this carried on until just after our second child was born. I’ve just recently been diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety and I’m hoping this will get better when I get back to normality (such as going back to work next month). I just miss how things used to be and I’m worried it will be like this forever.

My dh suffers with depression and the medication he is on has destroyed his sex drive for a bit. I had my son 4 months ago and it was ages before birth we had sex so think it’s been about 9 months now and I totally understand where you’re coming from. I felt quite rejected so had a frank conversation with dh that whilst I understand he doesn’t want sex he does need to show affection. Things are better now and I’ve accepted we’ll have sex when we’re both ready.
Have you spoken to your dp about your worries? Do you still fancy him?

Take it easy, no point in exacerbating your depression. Try to relax, be very physically affectionate with eachother without expectation of penetration. You'd be surprised how that works out eventually.

take a lover

your lucky, its been 10 years since i had last sex with my partner.

We didn’t have sex from about 4 months pregnant until my son was about 8 months old. OH didn’t like the idea of sex when we could feel the baby moving, and I had a horrendous Labour and didn’t want him anywhere near me for 8 months! But when I felt ready I cooked him a nice meal one night and one thing lead to another. Try being more tactile with him as see where it goes. I understand it’s daunting but you need to make the first move so that he knows you’re ready.

This is really base advice, but....

GET YOURSELVES DRUNK!!

Then once you're back in the saddle make a conscious effort to stay there.

Good luck OP.

Depression and anxiety will not help you feel in the mood, to say the least. And your baby is only 6 months old at the very most so you are still sleep deprived and knackered!

And 6 months is definitely not that long! I would not find that embarrassing at all.

Take it easy on yourself, just set the goal initially of being a bit more tactile to make that more normal. A hug here, a back rub there, and impromptu kiss, just to make sure there is much more touch that won't lead to penetration.
If you have some really quality time together that will help too, a proper chat with a chance to laugh.

Tell him you are nervous - and if it is awkward, so what? There is always the next time and the next time, just get this first time over with and things will start to flow again.