Should I work on this

[Autumn29]

I have been planning on leaving my partner and have posted here a few times. I deemed him to be abusive emotionally and financially (tho not physical or extreme), but after a very calm Frank discussion I now feel like it me or is it just the cycle repeating again. I feel he made some valid points about my behaviour and how he clearly takes everything I say quite literal, but at the same time I feel he didn't really believe he needed to change in the areas I addressed or really understood what I was saying. I feel that he is just going through an OK time atm but soon when he is bk to work he will be bk to calling me fat, telling me to shut up etc. Do I give this ago or still plan on leaving.... Am I falling for the trap again.

Being abusive, name calling etc is this just things he's saying in heat of an argument?

Leave. You should never be with a man who calls you fat and tells you to shut up. What I did last year was write a list of everything that I could remember. General behaviour and examples. The list was massive and I kept adding to it over a few months as I remembered. Anytime I was wavering (we were together a long time and I had gotten used to a lot of his behaviour plus had changed my behaviour so not to trigger him) I would read the list and add to it. It made a massive difference. I'd decided to split many times before but of course there are nice sides to him so he'd reel me in. The list really helped and I haven't looked wavered again.

If he doesn't feel the need to change...I'd feel the need to leave tbh.

The name calling does happen alot in the heat of an argument but he can be triggered quite easily I feel and I don't always see the mood coming. I feel i can't be myself because there is so much pointed out that is wrong with me, everything I do or discuss I'm told isn't hard etc and I feel he undervalued and plays down what I do. I frankly haven't even liked him personality wise now for a few years, but feel now maybe this is more my fault now (like I havent understood him,) I def am not in love with him but am thinking altho I feel the grass is greener that maybe I should work on this and see if we cna get the love back for the kids as well. I have started recording him and will def do the list that is a great idea thank u x

Leave him

You don't even like him and he's mean to you
The kids will be happier if you are

Sandyy2k. He was open in the discussion this time which was rare and hasn't happened for years he did actually admit to some fault in how he talks to me in approaching topics (as he states what is happening as a demand) and said he wud try, but I don't think he understood or I got across what I meant well, I felt the conv was dominated by what he wanted and altho he responded like he was listening he was on his phone when I talked and he did talk over me alot. This has just really confused me, I kinda settled on leaving and felt for the first time that I cud be myself and actually my future cud have possibility again. I'm so confused lmao.

Come on, you don't really need to keep asking the question. You're not going to get answers other than leave him, just as on your previous threads. Rip the plaster off and get out now. Stop prevaricating and wondering, which you've been doing for ages, and follow through with the decision you'd already made.

Thank u for the advice.