Would you want to know?

[1Skittles8]

So recently i messaged about my partner keeping in contact with a married guy from her past. I'll keep the details brief. They had a thing going, lasted for years. My partner has been seemingly pretty open with me regarding this, still i felt uneasy with it. The fact i later found out that they had regular contact via phone calls just made me more paranoid.
Recently, we have had a rough time because of this, caused many arguments and it's not made me feel great inside. We've stayed together though. However, i don't trust my girlfriend anymore, im trying so hard to make it work and to not think negative all the time.
It only takes the slightest thing to set my mind into overdrive about this, it's horrible and ive only ever been like this with my current gf.
Recently, tonight ive been having major doubts about our future together. My gf says she hasnt had any contact with the married guy but i know he's acting weirdly on fb, yes i found him and stalked him, he has been deactivating his profile then appearing again today. Im not sure if its because he's freaking out because my gf has had a word or its just a coincidence.
Ive even gone so far as to finding this guys wife contact details, so now i have the choice, do i let her know and call it off with my girlfriend? This whole situation is driving me nuts

Yes I would want to know.

And no I couldn't live like this.

Do yourself a favour and end it.

Sorry unclear are you saying she had a relationship with a married man before you started dating and she kept in contact with him after the relationship ended. You think they are still in a relationship because he deleted his facebook account and are now asking if you should tell his wife?

If so, no I dont think you should tell his wife because you have no real evidence of a current affair. If your relationship with your girlfriend isnt working just leave her and move on dont drag others into it.

The relationship was from before but there have been signs to suggest that gf has not fully moved on. Photos on the wall that remained there for some time and caused a few arguments, phone calls etc that i intially thought were every few weeks but turns out sometimes it was a couple of times a week but then some weeks none at all, according to gf.

Have you read any of the messages to get an idea of their content?
Ie could be "i miss you" etc, or could have evolved to friends.

As far as i know the calls have been limited to lunch their breaks, obviously his wife is unaware. My gf has told me its just normal chat, catching up like but then i questioned her when she told me it can sometimes be once or twice a week.
I don't want to dictate who she can and can't chat to but ive told her that it isnt healthy, not for our relationship and certainly not fair on his wife. Gf jas said she wouldn't contact him again and id like to believe that but then like i said ive seen him take his fb profile off and back on and off again last couple of days. So it's got me thinking about what's happened

You posted about this recently didn't you?

I did, asking if i was being unreasonable

You either trust her or you don't. She's been honest with you. I woudlnt tell his wife but I would speak to your girlfriend and say it's not fair on anyone to keep in contact.

Im hoping in time i will begin to trust her again, i go through periods where i overthink things and usually theyre negative feelings, last night for example. This morning im more myself and thinking logically. I know it may sound like im a bit daft, crazy but ive never been like this in previous relationships. Our feelings for eachother are strong and im just worried about getting hurt

There are a lot of decent women out there op , I don’t think this woman is serious as why keep in touch with an ex , especially one who has a wife. Your girlfriend has a faulty moral compass for even engaging in a affair with a married man so this is probably why you feel the way that you are (not trusting) . I’d let her go and I would tell the wife as she has a right to know what a douche her husband is.